Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Ground Control to Major Inari

Tomorrow, at the crack of dawn, I leave to the airport for a day spent entirely in the sky. From Ohio to North Carolina, from North Carolina to Arizona, from Arizona to California where I will chill for a week of fun happy times and then it's from California to Colorado, from Colorado to Ohio again.

First class, wee! Something something, the city of angels, something something, lame pick-up line.

I may not be here at the stroke of midnight to wish all of you a collective, "Happy New Year!" Thus I say it now, a couple days ahead of time. Happy New Year, guys. If I have your cell number, I'll try to shoot a text closer to the actual new year. Take care everyone, much love!

Update: Checking in live from Charlotte, NC airport. First flight out of the way, next flight from NC to AZ pending. I'm not sure if I'm legally accessing this internet so, I'll keep it short. Toodles.

And keeping with tradition...

Where did you begin 2009?
With loved ones.

What was your status by Valentine's Day?
Human. Hard to believe, I know.

Were you in school (anytime this year)?

Did you have to go to the hospital?
A number of times.

Did you have any encounters with the police?
None concerning the law.

Where did you go on vacation?
I went to Michigan, Illinois, and will end the year in California!

What did you purchase that was over $500?
A laptop.
Plane tickets.

Did you know anybody who got married?

Did you know anybody who passed away?
Big Skeet.

Did you move anywhere?

What sporting events did you attend?
I went to the horse track and won monies.

What concerts/shows did you go to?
Not any.

Where do you live now?
Ohio, again.

What's the one thing you thought you would never do but did in 2009?
Eat swordfish.
Hang out with Paris' mother.
Though I suppose I never really considered either before they happened.

What has/have been your favorite moment(s)?
Reading at the lake.
Sundaes everyday with my grandfather.
Hanging out with Holly & Riley.
Michigan. The entirety of Michigan.
Naxxramas/Ulduar drinking games.
True Blood drinking games.
Savior Lena.

What's something you learned about yourself?
I am a mighty tree.

Any new additions to your family?
Gobi Gaara!

What was your best month?
The month I spent in Illinois with my grandfather. Despite the lack of internets.

What music will you remember 2009 by?
Bad Things, Jace Everett

Made new friends?

Favorite Night[s] out?
Ben's wedding.
Taking my mom to the movies.
The night Lena and I met Creed is up there, though.

Any regrets?

What do you want to accomplish in 2010?
Get my own place, perhaps finally take up ASL.

What would you change about 2009?
I could have done without a certain someone being a huge huge jerk. That wasn't my place to change, though.

Other than home, where did you spend most of your time?
Illinois and Michigan, respectively.

Have any life changes in 2009?
Yes indeed.

Change your hairstyle?
A few times!

Get a new job?

Do you have a New Year's resolution?
I'll get back to you on that.

Did anything embarrassing?
I believe I have a yearly quota of embarrassment to fill and I always go a little over.

Buy anything new from eBay?

What was/were your favorite purchase[s]?

Gobi Gaara! My laptop, several books, and my purse.

Get married or divorced?
Both! Just kidding. Neither.

Get arrested?

Be honest - did you watch American Idol?

Did you get sick this year?
Who didn't?

Start a new hobby?
I have plenty of hobbies.

Played any MMOs?
AoC, WoW, WAR, and spent a couple weeks as a commie.

Are you happy to see 2009 go?
I suppose.

Drank Starbucks in 2009?
No. I've had more than my fair share of Dunkin Donuts, though.

What are you wishing for in 2010?
Same thing I wish for every year! To rule the-- Happiness, healthiness, and wealth for everyone I know.

P.S. Because I said I would, here is a silly mom quote, "I especially hate it when it's so cold that when you walk outside the little hairs in your nose freeze, so they feel all crispy when you talk." I had to paraphrase because she wouldn't remind me what she said exactly and told me I could post about her resistance on, "myface." So there you have it, Myface.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Life Saver

I saved a life! A tiny fish-shaped life, but a life none the less.

I realize they classify small common goldfish as "feeder" fish in America but can you believe how many of them they have crammed into this aquarium? What the crap?

It is literally wall-to-wall fish in there! They're fin-to-fin with scarce any wiggle room! It made me feel bad, so I had to do something. I decided out of thousands, I would save one. Making the employee try to catch a specific fish in that massive school was their punishment for keeping them in such a way.

This one was chosen because of the little spot on his face. Meet Gobi Gaara!

That is Lord Gobi Gaara to you.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Happy Holidays

The Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day.

Happy Holidays everyone! Yes, even you. I hope you're all in good health and great spirits. Have you been naughty? Have you been nice? You'll have to let me know what gifts you got, even if it happens to be a lump of coal.

I have no idea what to expect this year. I never made a list. It will be a total surprise, how exciting.

The holidays always makes me happy to be who I am and know those I know. I love you all. Truly. I don't say things I don't mean. No, I haven't been drinking. We can say these things without inebriation slurring it all together.

My mother just called me Snell. Freaking Snell. She's only been calling me by my first or middle name for how many years!? I suppose that's my cue to leave. Sleep tight, guys. I'll stop in sometime after morning.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

It's In The Water

Drama has reared it's great ugly head again, spewing frothy bile all over my social life. Different person this time. People? I guess. What's the point? Really. What's to be gained? All it does is bring about loss. For everyone involved. It's always tragic when insecurity turns otherwise brilliant people into idiots.

I'm a very candid person. Ask and you'll know pretty much anything about me. Very little is taboo or unspoken of. I've no reason to be dishonest. If you don't like me for who I am, then I don't want you to like me. Period. I'm fiercely loyal and will stand by someone no matter what is being said. No matter what poor choices they may have made, or wrongs they may have committed. I won't judge. I won't choose sides. I will not listen to rumors.

Not. Ever.

I trust, explicitly, those I call friend. If you say something I will take it at absolute face value. Not with a grain of salt or skepticism. Absolute value. I will believe it. I won't question it. No matter what someone else says. Even if they are also my friend. If it turns out to be false, you will reveal that to me yourself. No one else.

All of the friends I have made, I still have. With one exception, now. Going back as early as 2nd grade. Despite all of the moving and changes of phone number. That speaks volumes. Even a handful who may have wronged me, or, a handful I may have wronged. You know why? Because we were not vicious. Our wrongs were not done out of malevolence. If they hurt me or I hurt them, we dealt with it one on one. Settled it maturely between the two of us. Even as children. There was no need to segregate and choose sides. No need to drag others into it.

Drama is malicious and hurtful, worse of all, intentionally so. There is no such thing as accidental drama. Someone can accidentally hurt someone else's feelings, sure. You cannot however accidentally tell everyone about it. You start drama with intent in your mind and you know exactly what it is you are doing. Or hoping to do. Starting a rumor, passing along a rumor, believing a rumor, all contribute to needless drama.

Furthermore it has all sorts of adverse side effects, medically speaking from a psychological standpoint. Even for the crafter of said drama. It causes guilty conscience syndrome. That's where eventually, because you are so malignant, you begin viewing everyone else as equally mean and dishonest even if in reality they clearly aren't. Then you've got no one to trust. It's good for no one involved, even if the short term outcome seems beneficial.

There are many things I can forgive. Drama, for obvious reasons, isn't one of them. It's completely uncalled for. Emotional torment is worse in my opinion than physical torment. There is no excuse to put someone through that. Especially not a person you called friend. Absolutely no excuse. It doesn't matter if there was a transgression, real or imagined. It's petty and it's spiteful.

Am I angry? No. After all I'm also a firm believer in choosing your own mood and not letting someone else determine that for you. More or less disappointed. Even the little smiley up top says so. So what happened? I can't say exactly, because that would cause drama too. See that? It's the high road. It's a little steeper and harder to traverse, but it leads to a happier place. Lets be happy!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Doctor Slumber Party

It's almost time.

I go in a while before I'm expected to sleep, so they can observe my pre-sleep routine, I suppose. Makes me feel like a hamster. The forms I filled out also claim I will have a private room complete with it's own full bathroom (shower and all). They also claim they will serve me snacks upon request. Upon request. I ask for snacks and bam! there they are.

I just may move in.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Shopping Ballet

Tis the season for long long lines, I tell you what. I went to the mall today to pick up a few pairs of jeans and some gloves, since I never seem to have enough pants... and the lines were outrageous. I think I spent longer in lines than actually shopping for things.

Being some strange Amazonian mixture of tall and lean, I always have to try clothes on in the store before buying them just to be sure they fit.

That's where I discovered this gem:

Speaks for itself.
Then of course I had to have fun with it because that's what I do. So there I am in the middle of the store trying on all sorts of pants (because just trying on the ones I plan to buy is too easy) and dancing about (because this is what normal people do in stores).

Don't worry, despite the sign in the dressing room, I actually paid for all of the clothing I left with. 

You mean this is not normal? 

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Huge. Quickly.

Hey, uh, it's your doctor. I need you to do me a huge favor. Uh... can you please, uh, join us for a sleep over? My nurse went through your charts and uh... will be calling you with the date. You've got to do this for me. Huge. Quickly.

So. Doctor appointment revealed more doctor appointments in my future. Feign shock now. Specifically a CAT scan on the 14th and a sleep study date to be announced. I have to say, doctor slumber party? Sounds pretty awesome.

They also discovered that aside from insect sting I am also allergic to trees, grass, feathers, mold and dust and have absolutely no natural resistance to pneumococci. My immune system is missing several key components rendering me totally incapable of fighting off pneumonia. Pneumococci are also responsible for sinus infections and ear aches, which I had pretty much once a month every month, as a kid growing up. Thus they insisted on a pneumonia vaccine. I hate shots.

I will have to go back in five weeks for a test to see if my body managed to incorporate it, and how well. That is three confirmed doctor appointments from this one. A fourth with another doctor right after New Years. Possibly a fifth once this doctor tells my other other doctor what he found. I should just go to med school.

Amusing side note? I've been using a feather pillow since I've been staying at my mother's house. D-u-r-f that spells durf. Thankfully her house is full of bedding, for some bizarre reason, so I was able to procure a new pillow no problem.

Now I must consume Tylenol to combat vaccine fever!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Karma, It's Coming

As some of you know, I've been dealing with more than my fair share lately. I don't know why I continue to spare the guilty even when they don't deserve the kindness. Doing my best to stray as far from needless drama as I humanly can is my only guess? I'll go with that.

Seems a futile effort. Drama seems intent on happening regardless of my civility. Image 
Hosted by ImageShack.us

Yesterday was a really crappy day for me. A certain someone, we'll call them Usotsuki, hijacked my email account and the WoW account associated with it. So I could access neither my primary email or my game. Ironic that the only two accounts in distress were the very two Usotsuki knew the passwords to. Everything else was fine. Including several other WoW accounts I had access to and several other emails. How mysterious! Perhaps I should hire Sherlock Holmes to figure this one out.

I couldn't get to sleep after realizing the startling magnitude of douchebaggery that had just happened to me, so I went outside and laid in the snow getting snowed on. Cooled off, quite literally. The world is at peace when it snows. Until the little old woman from across the street eventually came over because she thought I had died in the drive way.

I discovered something interesting though. Blizzard Entertainment has better customer service than Google. Yes, that shocked me too. Aside from being on hold for an hour before talking to an actual human, Blizzard eagerly helped me out of the situation and even called Usotsuki a jerk for having done it. Oh random Blizzard employee, thank you for saying what I have bit my tongue on thus far!

Google on the other hand may in fact make me take a DNA test to regain control of my email. I'll have to deal with that later. I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow and I really don't need to be dealing with all of this stressful bantha pudu. Enough's enough already.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Sleep to Dream

I went to bed last night around 4am exhausted, but by the time I hit the sheets my feet felt so cold that I couldn't fall asleep. They didn't feel that cold literally, compared by touch to other parts of my body, but it felt like I was standing in snow regardless. So as I lay there uncomfortable, my mind starts to wander. I do something so silly and girlie I made myself face palm with both hands.

I started thinking about New Years and how close it's getting. Then I got excited because my New Years plans this year are super awesome. After a while longer, my feet weren't as cold! I had successfully gotten my mind off of them. Time to seize sleep! ...Unfortunately I got myself so giddy about New Years in the process that I was also absolutely awake. Like a kid on the night before Christmas, or something.

So I'm laying there trying to mellow myself out, and I start thinking about my watch. It's still set to Central time, and I should really reset it to be on Eastern because once I'm in Pacific it's going to get mighty confusing adding three hours and accounting for the lack of one... and yeah. The thing is, my watch also has a little date keeper on it, so you have to set it carefully otherwise your AM and PM will be off and the date will be wrong. Not helping my cause.

Clear my mind, try again. Dragon Age. Everyone says it's super great. I've used the chargen, played the browser game, and would like to concur. I haven't been able to get my Daemon Tools to work though. Never trust a daemon. Haven't been able to play it, thusly. Have no DVD to burn it to! So now I'm trying to decipher that issue. What the frack? Just go to sleep! I roll about, disturbing a pile of cats and moosh my face into the pillows, pull the blanket over my head and try to will unconsciousness. To no avail.

As I lay there, on the brink of success I just can't reach, I start thinking about how I don't have a shirt to match my favorite skirt. I foolishly left the one I usually wear with it in Florida. Argh! I begin wondering if I'll find one that matches here this time of year. Camisoles and tank tops typically disappear in Ohio after Halloween. I could wear the skirt and go shopping until I find something that matches, I muse. Then I realize I'm doing it again.

Start over, roll over, squish a cat. Apologize. Start over again. Cat gets his revenge by yawning in my face. Why does cat mouth smell like stagnant death?! I submerge beneath my comforter again, holding my breath and probably making all sorts of faces. My phone has wiggled out from under my pillow after all of this and is hard and cold against my shoulder. I may as well look at the time while getting it out of the way, it's 7am!

I've been laying in bed like an Inaruritto for hours without actually falling asleep. I don't remember finally dozing off, but it was probably at least another hour later than that. Thankfully I had an interesting dream to make up for all the hassle. It involved a stable, a stable-boy, winged humans, a kingdom on the sea, royalty, war, great ships, and a sparrow. Use your imaginations!

Friday, November 27, 2009

It's Rad

First of all let me start with, new Weezer happened. Yaaaaay! Because, honestly? New Weezer, yay! Word on the street is Rivers didn't know what to call the album so he called Rainn Wilson (of Shrute Farms fame) for advice and, "Raditude" was born. It is pretty rad I must admit. Probably even more rad for those of you with actual working ears.

Third. Wait, what was second? I can't remember. Oh well. I got an MP3 player to make airplanes less boring. It was $99, but being the smart cookie I am I waited for Black Friday and got it for $30. I just can't justify spending the original amount of money on an audio device. For more than half off though, why not?

I considered buying clothes instead, since I've been living out of a suitcase for almost a year now, but ideally I'll have all of my clothes from Florida before next freaking year. Because really... I have seven outfits with me. Seven shirts, two pairs of jeans, a skirt, seven pairs of socks, two pairs of shoes, and seven under-roos. I'm no girly-girl but what the shit? A person needs more variety.

Or perhaps I just loathe having to do laundry every single seventh day of days. I don't think my clothes like it either. Oh if these pants could talk.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Giving Thanks

Well internet denizens, it's that time of year again. Time to give thanks! My favorite holiday: Thanksgiving! So what is it I'm thankful for this year? That's what I'm here to tell you! Gosh, be patient. We go through this every year.

I am eternally grateful for my supportive and loving family. My grandfather, my mother, and Brook. My aunts Evelyn and Arlene. My uncles Kurt, Kelly, and Paul. My sisters Holly, Heidi, and Tali. My brothers Benjamin and Bill. My niece Riley. My nephews William and Jaiden. And of course my cousin Dino.

All the people who've touched my life and are no longer with us. Kenny, Rob, Jerry, Jason, Ashley, John, Big Skeet, Marilyn, and though indirectly grandma Jean.

My always awesome friends, new and old, who are far too numerous to count. I'd feel terrible if I accidentally left anyone out, so excuse my not naming anyone in particular. You know who you are though. Whether we met in grade school, high school, or even playing some random video game together online. Long distance or short -- I love you all.

My health, however sketchy it's been this year. What little hearing I have left. The fact that I have a roof over my head, food in my tummy, and a warm dry place to sleep at night. The internet and all of those inventions that make life 100x easier to live than it was before them.

My cats, Neelix & Odin. Always there to warm your lap and lift your spirits.

And lastly (you can thank me later)!

P.S. Made this post at 2:22 PM, I win the game of time!

Friday, November 20, 2009

There Is Milk

I found this note in the street. Saw no vans and no trace of milk.

I love the frownie face, it adds so much. The author of this note was truly sorry to inform.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Fake People Are People Too

A new idea inspired by Lena's last great idea!
20 of My Favorite Fictional People.
In no particular order.

1. Kefka, Final Fantasy VI
2. Ramsus, Xenogears
3. Daenerys Targaryen, A Song of Ice & Fire
4. Gaius Baltar, Battlestar Galactica
5. Albert Wesker, Resident Evil
6. Trevor Goodchild, ├ćon Flux
7. Luca Blight, Suikoden II
8. Hiro Nakamura, Heroes
9. Benjamin Linus, Lost
10. James Wilson, House
11. Hannibal Lecter, Silence of The Lambs
12. Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bang Theory
13. Sora, .hack//Sign
14. Dwight Shrute, The Office
15. Carl Brutananadilewski, Aqua Teen Hunger Force
16. Gul Dukat, Deep Space 9
17. Andre Linoge, Storm of The Century
18. Lafayette Reynolds, True Blood
19. Magus, Chrono Trigger
20. V, V For Vendetta

The challenge is not naming multiple people from the same source.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Double Entende

When I'm wronged it's pretty easy to set things right again. All of my friends know this, some more than others. A genuine apology works so much better than lame excuse after lame excuse. While the why may seem important, it's far less important than your simple remorse for having done whatever it was to begin with.

With how hard it is to even make me mad, if you somehow manage it, you must have done something really bad. If you fail to apologize, any sympathy I may have had is gone. Just like that. I don't have time in my life for people who are inconsiderate. Further plays for guilt bead up and roll off of me like water on the feathers of a duck.

When you dig your own grave, the next step is to lie in it.

In other news, my doctor appointment for tomorrow has been moved to December 8th. My doctor's doing not mine. Ah well, what's a few more weeks? I'm well used to waiting by now.

Perhaps related to doctors... What the hell is up with these Reebok commercials for the shoes with rounded bottoms? Why does that seem like such a bad idea to me? Like a broken ankle just biding it's time and you're paying for it.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Totally Relevant

Boredom happened. This was the result.

I now return you to your regularly scheduled... whatevers.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Show Us Your Boobs!

I went out with Lena last night and was reminded instantly of all the high school misadventures we had. A great time. Definitely what I needed! Not that I don't usually have an awesome time hanging out with Lena, of course. She's always been fun times. It's just that last night in particular reminded me of back in the day.

We went to this bar I'd never been to before lovingly referred to as "The Liz." When closing time came we went on a treasure hunt for a bowling alley before winding up in a gas station that smelled mysteriously of Cinnabons and then Cuyahoga Falls at an agent's house (yes, an agent) with lots of beer and his creeper roomie, who was for the record the best part of the night easily.

A mix between Creed from The Office and Kenny Powers from Eastbound & Down (which I hadn't seen until last night but makes the perfect reference). Agent guy was super concerned that this guy would scare us off, but we're good sports and incidentally find what most women would run from amusing. So.

It worked out well for us entertainment wise. Of course he kept propositioning me for sex, throwing in that he knew he had little chance of success every time, but what can you do? Shrug it off and laugh! Which he was a good sport about, so that made it alright. At least he wasn't one of those hostile creepers. amirite?

We ended up staying out until like 6am before realizing we should probably sober up and head home. Things like this make Ohio not seem so bad when I think of sticking around here. Food for thought for me!

Oh and to follow up that last entry of mine, just so no one gets the wrong idea:


Thursday, November 5, 2009

Orange Nail Polish

Remember, remember the fifth of November. And trust me when I say...

[ Photo was removed for language. It was another sign written in Aurebesh. Only mean.]

I mean that smiley with all my heart. It feel mighty fine btw.

Edit for being a poet and not knowing it. Astounding!

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Kink, Not Kinky

Someone went and threw a kink in my Halloween plans. Who? I don't know. Probably one of you heathens that goes shopping all drippy and hacking rather than just staying home. If that's you, screw you. I'm suddenly running a fever of 102.

As tempted as I am to just down some Tylenol and get on with it, I think a visit to the new mini-hospital here in town may be in order. Likely the only place open today aside from the hospital-hospital which is further away. Since my trend is to skip the minute illnesses entirely and aim only for those more badass ones.

Ideally they'll run a few tests, declare it some fluke and send me on my spooky way.

Not like I need a lot of time to get ready or anything. I've always been lucky in that sense. I'm so pale I can wear anything and people assume I'm costumed. I've gone as a vampire almost every year since I was 8. Once my mom made me stop being a princess. No offense mom, but a princess? Really? Granted I was probably far creepier as a little undead girl than I am as a full grown undead woman

Instant vampire. Just add blood.
 Sometimes I don't even bother with fangs. People just assume that's my goal regardless. Which is one of the reasons I tend to stray from dark colors every other day of the year. People may mistake me for some weirdo. My biggest issue this year (aside from having a random fever), I think, will be finding something to wear. Almost all of my clothes are in Florida, so I have a very limited selection.

We'll just have to see what I can come up with!
After I venture to see a doctor.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Danger Needles

Needles full of potential danger! Sixty of them. Just like this.

My arms were too small.
Yeah, I had someone take a picture of my awful hole-filled back at the doctor's office. Don't act like that is weird for me. You know better! Two sets of holes will have to suffice. The rest of the picture is too naked for all you e-lechers.

I totally forgot about this appointment until I was reminded two hours before go time that I had to be ready. No rest for the wicked! Late Inari was late. My shirt was also on inside-out. To make matters worse I went to the wrong building, making me later.

Yes, it is as obnoxious feeling as it looks. Stung like a beast. Still stings now. I'm apparently moderately allergic to everything. Except cats. I didn't keel over or die though, so that is good. That also means however I am like to be stabbed sixty more times in the foreseeable future.

I'm supposed to have an eye kept on me and keep a phone handy just in case I have a delayed adverse reaction. In which case 911 is required. I don't see that happening though. I've had a bagel and an episode of Heroes to balance out being stabbed sixty times, and have been fine thus far. So now I sleep.

Next appointment is on the 19th of November. I don't remember what time.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Blow Fail

I suck at blowing. Yes, there are all sorts of jokes to be made about that. It was far too early in the morning to be awake. Well, I guess I should make that make more sense where it concerns me. It was far too early in the morning to be awake after having slept. As in, not still awake from the day previous. What am I? Some sort of daytime person? Pah!

I waited with George R.R. Martin in the lobby, where I could text people into sleep deprivation. And by people, I mean Aaron. Sleep deprivation loves company.

I had been saving the end of this book (A Clash of Kings) for this occasion (doctor appointment) but someone decided to get into an accident in the parking lot and between the tests and the commotion I didn't get much reading done at all. Much to my displeasure, because really cool things were going on and I had to keep going away. Er, cool things in the book, not cool things in real life.

Some guy in a red car plowed into the tail end of an old guy in a brown car and then had the audacity to just go park and pretend like nothing happened. So some good Samaritans at the bus stop came running in to grab all of the orderlies and bring them outside to confront the guy. I found it odd that they sent an ambulance to take the guy in the brown car to the E.R. considering the E.R. was basically about forty feet to the left of where the accident happened. No one was seriously injured.

The tests were neat. I breathed and blew into various machines in various ways. Though I didn't do so well at it. Judging from my doctor's reactions. He was a small peculiarly shaped man who shared in my love of donuts and Michigan. A person with big lungs scores a 10 on average. A person with small lungs scores a 5 on average. I was scoring about 3.6 which is a pretty sorry number. It made me feel terribly inadequate, despite it being something I don't have any control over.

I don't feel winded, but I guess I am. Or something. He kept telling me to breathe as if I was running away from vampires. He clearly didn't realize I'd be more apt to join vampires. He changed his tactic: breathe as if you are running towards the world's last donut. Also funny, but a much more accurate image for me to strive toward.

Afterward he took me to meet with the hospital chairman dude because he found out I draw things and now they may want me to draw things all over their hospital. Weird opportunities are weird!

Breathe In, Breathe Out

I'll be back in a while. It is hospital time, a time for hospitals. Today we see into my lungs. What will I see into next? Who knows? Not me!

Monday, October 19, 2009

Three Topics

This Thursday is my pulmonary exam. I'm honestly not too concerned about it. Next Tuesday the doctors think they are going to jab 48 needles into my forearms. They must not have gotten a good look at my arms when I was there last. There's no way 48 needles are going to fit. Sorry. That's just not going to happen.

I've been drawing a lot recently, though I've only finished 4 sketches. The others are all in varying stages of line work. As ever you know where to find the new stuff. If not, it's on my deviantArt page.

The All Points Bulletin character creation is surprisingly awesome. It puts Oblivion, Mass Effect, and PSHome to shame. Which is saying quite a bit. I had never really put much stock in APB, granted the last I honestly deigned to look into it was back when it was honestly just an idea on paper. So. Not that a great CharGen will make a great game. AoC taught us that.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Nine Vials

That is how much blood they took today. We also got lost in the hospital. Thankfully I had my handy dandy walking cane for the miles and miles we trekked. Seriously. They scheduled me for a pulmonary exam this Thursday... next Thursday? At 8:30 in the morning. They scheduled it after draining me of life force so the details are sketchy. I'll find the slip of paper to confirm the date when I go to get my epi prescription filled tonight. I left all of it in the car in my haste to get in and eat something before I face-planted.

I need a surplus of epi pens because apparently being deaf paints me as a huge victim-target of sneaky insects I can't hear buzzing. I'm also supposed to tell all of you how to do me right just in case I can't. Which I hadn't really ever considered. So here. Gray cap off, stab opposite end of epi pen into my thigh. Like you see on medical dramas all the time. Easy peasy.

There is a delay when I exhale. Doctor guy was surprised none of my previous doctors had found that curious enough to look into. So he insists it gets looked into. I already know I've got asthma, but it's been fairly nonexistent for a few years now. Apparently even when mostly symptom free it still puts me at an elevated risk for pneumonia. In fact it pretty much guarantees pneumonia every time I get any sort of respiratory infection.

I wish another doctor had brought this up before. Considering I've had pneumonia the last two winters in a row. I should be receiving yearly vaccines, I'm told. I didn't even know they had pneumonia vaccines. Fail.

It's a little grating to think about because pneumonia is what I had shortly before I woke up deaf. If it could've been prevented by a little (insert colorful word) foresight that's pretty aggravating. I've been a pretty good sport about losing a sense, but things like that are bothersome to think about.

You know what I miss? The sound a spoonful of sugar makes when you dump it into a mug of hot coffee. The sound crunchy autumn leaves make when you step on them. Wind chimes.  Frogs talking to eachtoher. Crickets to warn me if ninja are coming. Things like that. Things most hearing people probably rarely even notice.

It's surprisingly not convenient things like knocking at the door, the microwave timer, the phone ringing, traffic. I scarcely miss those things at all unless I burn my food. I don't even think about them. Yet every time I put sugar in my coffee I think about that strange sound it used to make.

But I digress.

I need to pick up another pair of ear buds tonight, since my old ones died while in Illinois. I've been trying to use headphones but it sounds hallow and it's difficult to make out consonants and syllables which is all I have to go by. I also need another tube of lip gloss and perhaps a lot of donuts. You can never have too many donuts.

My grandfather misses me terribly now that I've gone. So as tribute to him, I add his favorite song to my playlist. Michael Franti's Say Hey. Every time we drove anywhere, which was often, this song would come on and he'd turn it way way up and sing along. There is something about a 75 year old man singing along to the stereo that is too awesome to possibly put into words. So I won't try.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Inari House

You've waited long enough, my patient darlings. Tomorrow is the day for testing, which makes today the day for revelation.

Since I cannot feel my feet my doctors have collectively determined it wise for me to walk with assistance. Or severely limit time spent walking. This was meant to be bad news but I decided I'd make it good instead. Screw that. I made it a surprise. And it's awesome.

I'm too spiffy for a sterile-looking prescription cane or forearm crutch. No sirs and ma'ams, those won't do. So I got my measurements and did myself a favor. I now own a 36" ebony cane with silver collar and matching inscription plate. What could I have possibly had etched into my cane you may wonder? "Cowards die in shame."

Yes, shame.
Other geeky considerations were, "Victory is life." And, "The Force shall free me." In fact, they haven't been ruled out for future inscriptions. I could get nerdier. You get extra cool points if you know where any of these quotes come from.

A friend of mine regarded this as one step closer to becoming a female House, because I cannot refrain from being a smart ass. It's like the side of my brain saying "That's not nice," gets bitch slapped by the part of my brain going, "Hahaha!" Before I know it, I've said whatever it was regardless. All I have to do now is get a chemical dependency and a medical degree. I'll get right on that...

So anyway, Inari+cane. Who's bad?

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Now Departing Radiation Station

I thought I would take today to share something interesting. The last of the radiation is finally leaving my body so I'm shedding like a lizard. It's a little creepy, I must admit. At least it's exclusive to my arms and legs. It would be far creepier if I was shedding all over the place. Or if I shed all of my skin at once like a snake. Actually, that would probably be kind of neat.

Once all the radiated skin cells are gone I'll stop shedding. Given how sheddy I am that shouldn't be long.

This is my arm after having applied a mega-hydrating lotion (which is essentially like slathering yourself in lard):

Sexy, I know.
 Can you imagine if the lotion were less hydrating? Or if I hadn't applied lotion at all?

Our bodies are cool things aren't they? I thought of wearing short sleeves and shorts just to weird people out when I go places. But it's cold here in Ohio. I'd freeze my ass off. 54°F. Overcast and windy. I'm indoors in sweatpants, long sleeves, socks and a sweater while under a blanket and I'm still cold. Actually now that I really think about it that's probably not normal. Likely also due to the radiation going away.  I've been radioactive so long my body thinks normal is a weird change. It'll get over it.

Something arrives the day before my appointment on the 13th. I won't tell you guys what just yet because it's rad enough to be a surprise. It will be more rad than iguana arm. I promise.
You'll have to wait.

For now, I sleep.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


Here's a little blast from the past. I wonder if I served this or if Lena served it for me? They always used to mix us up... I find the reasoning quite amusing.

Looks like nothing has changed!

Wednesday, September 30, 2009



Get Your Mugs

It's celebration time! In eight hours. The fabled return to internets. Be there.

Stepping out the door literally three minutes from now, it's a day of super boring driving ahead and then... and then I will reacquaint myself with being online for more than five minutes at a time! Hurray hurrah, as my aunt would say. Is it nerdy to be excited about that? Who cares. I'm excited!

Clothes? Packed. Toiletries? Packed. Books? Packed. Snacks? Packed. Extra shoes? Packed. Sketchpad? Packed. Pens? Packed too. Gameboy? In purse. Purse? In lap. Phone? Charged! Gift for aunt? Left where it'll be found. Breakfast? Waiting at the skyway. Inari has left the building!

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Marian The Librarian

Tonight is movie night. Late every Saturday we watch some movie from the 50's. Tonight it's an old horror film. Which will be funny for several reasons. Mostly because on Monday I can say, "Last week, I sawr a film, as I recall it was a horror film."

We also bought a bunch of popcorn from a local Boy Scout who came by this morning with a little wagon full of the stuff. Made his day by buying so much. He must have been about 6 or 7 tops. So excited to make his first sale.

How convenient, I thought, popcorn for our movie!

I may also go to a concert. A patient and friend of my aunt's, Rosie,  is playing a show tonight and wants us to come stop by. You may know her from the band Dot Dot Dot, contestants a while back on The Next Great American Band. I haven't seen her since I was like 15, so that may be fun.

Tomorrow it's a toss up. We could go to the huge community BBQ or we could go to the horse track. We were invited to a private box, which is pretty damn neat. I haven't been invited to a private box since I was about 8 years old and won all those old trackies so much money. It's like watching the races in a tiny cube-shaped palace complete with servants. For now I go to buy more donuts and coffee. Because you can never have enough of either.

My mother keeps texting me pictures of her fish Eric and her other fish Eric. And her other other fish, Eric. Mom, what the hell? It's so absurd it's cute. I love you.

Yeah, I just said I love my mom in public. What're you gonna do about it?! That's what I thought. Go call your mothers, they miss you.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Staying Gone

I was supposed to head back to Ohio today, but I'm not quite done in Illinois yet. So I will remain here until Tuesday. No celebrating the return of internets just yet. Oh well! Not like there isn't a thousand things to occupy myself with here. I'll manage.

Speaking of keeping busy, we went to this tiny theater and saw Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs. Go see it. It was really great. Also, I co-star. There's more incentive to get off your ass. Inari Sparks. No one will let me hear the end of it.

Yesterday we went to a nearby State park and had a wonderful time just wandering around with our feet in the sand and our toes in the water. Skipping stones and making merry. Until I got attacked by an insect out for murder. Blarg. It was still a good day regardless.

There is an old Nuclear plant there, all sealed up. The original park was put there to lure folks in and show them how safe and friendly Nuclear energy was to have around. Ironically 10 years after convincing everyone of the safety they discovered a flaw in the system and had to seal off the entire plant before an American Chernobyl happened. So there are a bunch of old abandoned kiosks along the way. Things retaken by nature.

Earlier in the week we went to an orchard where we ate home cooked food and played like children all day. I even became the leader of a herd of goats before getting hopelessly lost in a corn-husk labyrinth. I couldn't find the Goblin King.

On the way home from the daily happiness (icecream with sprinkles) we saw a fox. A fox! How cool is that? So cool.

Related to cool: good news and bad news. Good news first! I don't have cancer. Now that is cool. The biopsy results are back and while the news is certainly superb (x9000) it also means I still lack answers. Which is the bad news. More tests will be forthcoming! The 13th of this month being the first of which.

Yeah, I didn't tell most of you about that possibility. A few family members aside, unless I told anyone else while on drugs from the scope. I do that, keep scary secrets to myself so the only one who has to worry is me until I know if there is a reason to or not. Sorry! But now you know you don't have to worry about that.

Tonight we go to the movies again. This time to see I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell. Geoff is in that movie, so naturally we have to go see him. Saturday I was invited by a bunch of local nerds while buying a Chaos Terminator Lord to do nerdy things at a card shop, though I probably won't go. Sunday there is a huge community BBQ. Then Monday is my last, very last spinal treatment.

Internet. Tuesday. Be there or be square.

Sunday, September 20, 2009


I'm supposed to be killing monsters right now, but between sharing internet and finding internet that's not working out so well for me. Yes, digital monsters not real ones. As always. A shame too, there is a super awesome monster to kill this week.

We were going to go to a Civil War reenactment today, but by the time I crawled out of bed the war was over. Haha.

It was mostly an excuse to go to the mansion across the lake from us anyway. The man who used to live there had dominion over the entire lake and all surrounding property until he eventually opened it up for development. When he died he donated it and the entire other half of the lake to the city to use for whatever. This weekend it was a Civil War reenactment. A few weeks ago it was ballroom dancing.

Guns and mayhem were more appealing than champagne and evening gowns to me. As if that's shocking. I maintain that we should have rowed over in the canoe on Saturday, but my grandfather thinks they would've shot cannons at us. An amusing thought. Playing the South in a Civil War reenactment has to be a lot like drawing the short straw. I mean, not only do you have to play the loser but you're also playing the role of huge ass. Amirite?

Instead we went to Antioch for breakfast at some homey little momma's sort of place with tasty food. Oddly decorated though. Covered wall to wall in paintings and statues of roosters. All I could think of was cock jokes but could say none of them! Then as I was eating my eggs it was if every beady little eye in the room was upon me. I decided: chickens are pro-life.

Something weird happened the other day. We had gone into the old town, stopping in to a pagan shop and a costume shop, among others. What is worthy of note between these two stores however is that one of the clerks in the costume shop (who by the by are always in full costume while working) asked me about my experience in the other store. A curious inquiry.

How did he know I had even gone into the other store? The two are blocks apart separated by buildings and streets from line of sight and he had been on all day so it's not as though he had seen me enter or exit. Did the clerk from the other store phone ahead? That would be equally strange. We've been boggling over that one all weekend. How the heck did he know where I had been?

Before curious parties think they've solved one of my mysteries, I'm not pagan. Religion? Lack thereof? Still a secret. So are my political views. That stuff isn't important to anyone but me. There are, maybe, one or two people who know anything about that and they're sworn to secrecy.

We also went to the Native club. White Feather. It's a short distance from the manse here, in fact they share the lake with us. I don't know why we drive half the time we do. We could just as easily row or sail. It's not as if there is a lack of boats. Heck, I'd swim if it was acceptable to show up places wet.

There's a joke there someplace.

I've been drawing a lot and I'm almost finished with my book. I've got a bit of color to show for it. And freckles. Yes, freckles. I regret not bringing the third book however, because once this one's through I'll have a lack of reading material for the pier. Which leaves me with a lot of spare time for sketching. There is a humongous Borders right up the road, I suppose I could always buy another third book.

I go back to Ohio this upcoming Friday. Between now and then we've tons of things planned. Hopefully I'll be able to do them all. My spine is a lot better, I should be finished with adjustments by Thursday and then I can follow up with any doctor where ever I happen to be for upkeep, every now and then. Just to be sure nothing is amiss. In other health news, I should have some biopsy news by Tuesday regarding my innards. Fingers are still crossed on that stuff. We'll see. I won't dwell on the unknown.

My grandpa has managed to lose two pounds eating sundaes with me every day. Perhaps I'm on to something. The Sundae Diet? Eat a sundae every day except Sunday. The backwards of it is why it's successful. You burn calories trying to make it make sense. Seems logical to me.

Long blogs are long because there's no internet signal here and I'm trying to pass time until there is. I feel so secluded! Text message is still about the only way to keep in touch with me. So pardon the randomness. A lot has happened and I try to keep you all up-to-date in the absence of reliable technology. Rather than a daily update or a few IM conversations I wind up with these big walls of text once or twice a week. I forget how quickly I can type and before long it's this massive thing you're daunted to read through. Apologies for that.

To follow through with more random, it's raining and lovely right now. We were out and about at the festivities of Autumn when it began. I didn't run for cover with the rest. I was rather pleasantly surprised by the unpredicted change of weather. An, "Oh, yay!" moment. I don't think people ever really expect such nonchalance. Some things are beyond your control to change so you may as well enjoy them! My name is Inari, and I decide to be happy.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Dear John,

Who would have thought the guy who always drove his motorcycle home from gatherings inebriated without incident like some sort of daredevil would die driving to work completely sober? He would have chuckled at that, I believe. He would have appreciated the irony, surely. Whenever I see assless chaps, I will remind everyone of a guy we all called Big Skeet.

Rest in peace my dude.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Role Reversal

Today I accompany my grandfather to his Electrocardiogram, like he accompanied me to my Esohagogastroduodenoscopy. Only totally different. Because they're completely unrelated tests. They probably won't permit me in the room with him until they're through, then again they didn't permit him in the room with me until I was through. To be honest that's probably a mighty fine idea because I'd be making him laugh and messing up their tests without a doubt. It's what I do.

Instead I'll loom about in the waiting room with the 600 galon salt water aquarium and read my book. I'm more than halfway done with it thanks to this lake and a lack of internet. The fishes will probably float right above my chair thinking I'm there to feed them. I seem to have that effect on fish.

Hopefully all is well in Papa's Heartsville. I would imagine so. He is in better shape than most people half his age. He's in better shape than I am, albeit that isn't difficult. It would be mind boggling if he had some occult condition lying in wait. Heck. Bullets, knives, and terrible car crashes didn't scathe him. He's like a Native Chuck Norris. No lie.

Tonight we watch The Office. I think it's the new one. Which means we finally get absolution for that cliff hanger. Undoubtedly bound to be hilarious. Last night we watched a Honeymooners marathon. That's great stuff too. My grandfather used to watch it every Saturday when they were new with my grandmother, but never got to see all of them after she died. Recently he bought them all on DVD but had no one to watch them with. So I volunteered.

Yesterday we got lost in Wisconsin going shopping. I apparently needed new shoes and a watch. Everything they say about Wisconsin is true, the cheese talk is no exaggeration. About every mile or so we found a cheese emporium claiming to be larger and more full of cheese than the last. It was a little absurd. Who eats that much cheese to keep all of these places in business? Talk about over saturation of a local market.

After some searching and a call to my uncle we managed to find our way. I wound up with a pair of Nike Airs and a watch by Adidas. I like to think they are in a constant state of silent accessory conflict.

I wasn't going to update until tomorrow, because as of tomorrow I'll be at the halfway point of my visit. Meaning I go back to Ohio next Friday. But my grandfather and I got all up and ready to go to his doctor only to realize we were an hour ahead of schedule. Early, imagine that. So we were both left with forty-five minutes of nothing to do. Which brings me to now, here.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Taste The Rain

Yesterday we had a little get together: my mom, grandfather, nephews, older brother and Brook. It was a lovely day. Fun times. After dinner Jaiden wanted to go out into the yard with me. Then he wanted to blow bubbles. Once I got them out everyone wanted to blow bubbles, so we had a bubble blowing extravaganza.

I taught my nephews a thing or two about blowing bubbles that day. Actually, I taught my grandpa a thing or two about blowing bubbles as well, and my mother. I became a bubble blowing celebrity for blowing super huge bubbles consistently.

Look how gosh damned proud I am of that thing. You may've built an orphanage with your bare hands in some 3rd world country, but look at the size of that bubble! Look how amazed my grandfather is by its sheer awesomeness. Can you blame either of us? It's pretty fraking impressive.

When Jaiden ran out of bubbles little Bill poured some of his into Jaiden's container. Of course with all the grace of a four year old he also poured them all over the porch. Despite that it was really cute. Jaiden says, "Thank you, Bill." and little Bill says, "You're welcome!" Did I mention cute?

I'm almost finished packing. I'll be headed back to Illinois at around 8am today for another week or so. I think I'll only take a couple of books with me this time. Lighten my luggage a little. I will still bring two weeks worth of clothes, just in case I have to stay a full two additional weeks. And my laptop of course. Though internet there is severely lacking, I can't imagine not bothering to try.

Also, this time I won't forget pants. Those are important.

Length really depends on how treatment goes. It's not a vacation, afterall. No matter how much fun I allude to having. I've already got two weeks worth of adjustments under my belt, so I may only need a week's worth on top of that. Unless things aren't as they should be, again, in which case it'll be a full two weeks on top of the previous two weeks. For a total of four weeks. i r gudd @ math.

I'm very tired today. It's sunny but looks like it may rain a little. Hopefully I can manage to sleep in the car along the way. It's a billion hour drive, you'd think sleeping through Indiana at least would be easy. Because it's several hours of absolutely nothing. Yet I always remain awake and bored the whole way. I don't know who I'm kidding. I'll more than likely remain awake this time too.

I am supposed to finish killing monsters tonight at 8pm, or rather 7pm where I'll be. I say that here in hopes I won't forget. Monday is not a typical monster-slayin' day, you see. Hopefully I can find a signal reliable enough go. I do so enjoy killing ferocious monsters. Yes, for the less astute, I'm talking about video games again.

And now that I have sufficiently pushed that envelope as far as it'll go. I'm off. To Illinois with me!

Edit: I arrived safely. Once again. As opposed to dangerously.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Lord of The Soup

I'm back and awake now. Kind of. Many biopsies were taken and some bad things revealed but we won't know more until the results of the biopsies are back in a week or so. Well, we know the bad things but they could be worse things.  I may be in Illinois by then. Actually I know I'll be in Illinois by then. If treatment isn't advised to wait I'll have to undergo it there. I won't worry you until anything is known for certain.

They were careful with me though.  Even gave me a, "Hey don't kill the patient." bracelet. Which I cannot get off of myself. Someone halp.

Seriously, help me.
My doctor was a comical rotund man. Able to easily tell how nervous I was, he joked with me about the name of the company who makes the numbing spray for the throat. Beuttlich. He kept calling them Buttlick. Says it used to say, "Great tasting!" on the canister but they had to take it off because it tastes so awful. It was pretty terrible. After that I remember the nurse saying she was going to administer the drug into my IV, then nothing.

Let me say something just now. Thank goodness for spell check.

I'm so doped right now. I feel like I am on a boat, but I am not on a boat. I don't even have my flippy floppies. It's so quiet today and all I can eat is soup. I have mushroom soup because I'm so very hungry. I need water though because I'm thirsty. I think I had some. You know what's kind of sad? When Gandalf realizes Saruman is really and truly a bad guy now. He's like: D:

The Day

The sun has made it's appearance, it's overcast, likely to rain. Just how I like it. I've removed all of my jewelry. Today is the day. Esohagogastroduodenoscopy: The scope test. I won't lie, it's sat like a shadow on the horizon of fun for the last few weeks. I'll be happy to see it done and over with.

I'm not concerned with the procedure. Pain before, after, or during -- I deal rather well with that sort of thing. My concern is the anesthesia. I'm hyper sensitive to nearly all forms of it and have had alerting reactions in the past. Turning 2 hour procedures into 4 hours. 6 hour procedures into 12 hours. And so on and so forth.

At least all of that is known by now. It won't be as shocking as the first time it happened. Ideally the doctors will be prepared for just such a thing. When it comes to big scary tests or surgeries, it's strangely never the task at hand that I get nervous about. It's ironically the drugs given to make the deal less worrisome that make me worry.

If you consider the quiet reservation of a Terminator actual worry.

I am so hungry. So thirsty. Mostly starving though. I don't know when I'll be awake or when I'll be home if they decide to keep me, but I do know my first conscious request is going to be food. Whatever it is I'm brought, its likely to be the tastiest thing ever. True hunger makes everything good.

My chariot awaits! I'll see you all later. I'm apt to be pretty loopy for a while. Just as a heads up.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Like Sugar & Spice

"I'm sure you must be weary, dear, with soaring up so high;
    Will you rest upon my little bed?" said the Spider to the Fly.
    "There are pretty curtains drawn around, the sheets are fine and thin;
    And if you like to rest awhile, I'll snugly tuck you in!"
    "Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "for I've often heard it said
    They never, never wake again, who sleep upon your bed!"

I'm in Ohio again now. Safe and sound in Inaritown. Although there was a flash flood on the highway and we almost fishtailed into doom. Avoided that by the skin of our teeth, yes sir. Illinois was uneventful. Indiana was painfully uneventful. The moment we passed over the Ohio border a hell storm came on us. In an abandon all hope ye who enter here sort of way!

Luckily I carry extra hope.

Now I sit, cozily, on stable internet having many glasses of celebratory whiskey. My insides aren't liquefied, you see. That is something worth celebrating. Actually the majority of you are like to have not gotten that reference, so never-you-mind! Who needs a reason for celebration anyway? Pants off dance off, bitches.

I go back in like a week for an additional week or two, so I have to make good on my time here. No art. No reading. Just internet before it's suckallite again. Although hospitalization for this upcoming test may take me away for a day or more. We'll see. Last time they sedated me my heart decided not to beat, so they kept me extra days. Hopefully not this time, since they are well aware now of the sensitivity to crap injected into my veins and thus shouldn't use so much crap.

Anyhow, less typing, more celebrating!

The Return to Internets

I just finished packing. Last minute, I know. I got myself preoccupied last night (read: fell asleep) though I did complete the brunt of it then. All that's left is to eat some breakfast and get into the car for eight hours. Then I'll be in Ohio on slightly more reliable internet. Once I best Indiana again.

I exaggerate. The internet in Ohio is leaps and bounds better than the internet in space. Ironically I fell asleep last night watching Nova, Spacespies. Despite how you read that it was not a special about Space Pies but espionage. I made the same mistake.

It won't be long before someone comes to fetch me, so I'll have to make this short. I have been sitting in front of this computer for less than three minutes but if they find me here, it'll be the computer's fault. It won't be, "You've spent the last thirty minutes packing because you fell asleep last night." It'll be, "You're going to be late because you're online!"

I have impeccable timing, unless drunk or unconscious, so if I'm late it's more than likely going to be something else's fault. Like traffic, or the apocalypse. But I digress (I do that a lot to prevent tangents).

Sometimes people wonder why I always always take a minute to write before I travel anyplace far. First of all, why the hell not? Second of all, to make sure I said something before venturing out into world land. Should anything happen to me. Just in case, you understand. I don't want the very last thing anyone's heard from me to be a rant about potatoes or something. So...

To those of you in Illinois: It's been fun!
To those of you in Ohio: See you soon!
To those of you in Florida: It'll still be a while!
To the Internets: obebe

Sunday, September 6, 2009

So If You're Lonely

You know I'm here waiting for you!


I have discovered there is no chance of internet in the Sparrow Room unless I arrange things just-so. Laptop on Southern edge of bed, chair pulled to the side. Cellphone and both of the TV remotes to the left of the laptop, anywhere else won't do. Hearing Aid on the far nightstand -- never in my ear. Then and only then I might have a chance at getting online in this room that has been my home away from home for two weeks.

Sometimes I have better luck in other rooms, or at the pier, but this is the room I've taken as my own. Thus this is the one I'd prefer to lurk in. Determined as I am, I force Internets where I want them and tend to occupy my time with else when I cannot, rather than retreat to a different location.

An Inari never retreats, never surrenders!

Not that I didn't know finding internet here would be a challenge. That I would be scarce. My two day's here before my little brother's wedding proved insightful enough that I brought an army of books, pens, and paper with me. To give myself something to do when I wasn't off running around to random places in Illinois.

I was entertaining the thought of giving clues as to what I've been working on sketch-wise, but have decided I'd rather leave you in anticipation. I have been drawing on a lot of past ideas and concepts that've been floating in my brain, with a lack of time or internet for new inspirations. Maybe that is hint enough for some of you. Have I said too much!?

I start every day reading for a couple of hours on the lake at the end of the pier. Then depending on the weather, I may also sketch there. Overcast I stay, sunny I go back indoors. Most people would think I have that backwards, but I'm not most people. Then my grandfather and I usually go off on some adventure together. The mall, the butterfly gardens, a movie, the zoo, the city, who knows? But at the end of every day we sneak off to have an icecream sundae together at this little homely place down the road. Reminds me of being a kid.

Some of the people I'm introduced to here have heard so much about me from my grandfather or uncle that they bow to me in greeting. It's a riot. Odd and a little awkward, but funny. And no one calls me by name, I'm called by title wherever I go. If I didn't recall it from childhood, I would probably overlook that they're talking to/about me.

Every evening we watch a movie together, my grandfather and I. Last night we watched Gran Tarino. Good film, not that you expect less from Clint Eastwood. Maybe a little more striking to those of us from the area the film is set in. I grew up there. All around there, actually, with as much as I moved. Tonight we watched Attack of the Puppet People. A movie from 1957, if memory serves. If I were online I'd google it to be sure, but I'm not.

Speaking of the internet, AIM has been notifying me recently that I'm logged on from two or more locations. It does that for the record. Lets you know if someone is logging on as you from elsewhere. I have to keep notifying AIM to sign me off anyplace else other than Illinois. This means one of two things: someone or something has turned on my other laptop in Ohio or someone or something is using my computer in Florida. Stop that, if it's intentional. If it's unintentional, someone with thumbs (read: not my cat) turn off my computers!

I return to Ohio on Tuesday evening because I have a doctor's appointment there on the 10th. The dreaded test I don't look forward to. You know the one. My aunt and uncle believe I should come back to Illinois sometime after that, but when will depend on how I am feeling after this test and the scheduling of appointments there afterward. We'll see.

The internet was never found last night and much to my dismay I cannot find a signal this morning either. So here I sit, offline, writing more to this entry as I paint my nails. Clear polish with silver glitter, in case you were wondering. In sunlight it turns ruby red like the ruby slippers from The Wizard of Oz.

My hip hurts today something fierce. I could barely climb out of bed. A dull ache like a fracture accompanied by a sharp pain at times like it's out of place. "How would you hurt your hip?" you may wonder, since I've done absolutely nothing to it. To which I say, "Recall I am the girl who broke a bone in her foot watching Heroes." Sometimes random crap just happens to me. It can't be explained. Luckily I'm in the perfect place for such a problem.

Freaking ow-face.

Stubbornly I rarely admit pain and insisted on showering and getting ready for the day despite it. I've a high threshold so I know if it's actually bothering me at all it's probably something bad -- but I try to shrug it off anyway. At least I admit my faults! I will give in and tell someone as soon as they aren't so busy.

They got a new refrigerator and have spent the majority of this morning moving the old one out of the way. A difficult chore since it had been built in to the fixtures of the kitchen some 10 years past. Not that I'm in any rush. I always hold out on pain, hoping it will magically go away before I'm forced to face it. Like a female Black Knight. It's probably just out of place, I convince myself, in which case it's simply a matter of adjusting it back in. The benefit of not only having a renown chiropractor in your family, but chancing to be at her house.

On the topic of family, I've decided mine is trying to sell me off. Since my arrival I've been meeting rich people's young attractive sons. By meeting, I of course mean forcibly introduced, not at random or want. My grandfather wishes for me to marry a strapping young millionaire business man who resembles a young tan Clark Kent. My uncle prefers I wed the rebel romantic heir in a rock band, meriting the qualities of a romantic long term over the reliable business minded guy. My uncle and grandfather will debate this amongst themselves endlessly, even if I'm in the room. Have I ever mentioned how thankful I am arranged marriages aren't generally accepted in this part of the world anymore?

I am.

Not that either boy is uncharismatic or unattractive (obligatory disclaimer). Certainly. However, in my opinion, nothing is more important than sharing interests in common. I've seen relationships built on money, or physical appeal and I've seen the outcome. They end and usually not very well. Because they are shallow things and puddles always dry up. I'd rather be poor and happy than wealthy and unfulfilled. Of course you could have both, if you're lucky, but both isn't needed. I went far more into that than originally planned. Ho hum.

I actually managed to sleep in past 11am today. No matter what hour I fall asleep, I always wake before 11am. I have no idea why. My grandpa was amazed all the ruckus they were causing with the kitchen didn't wake me. Deaf. Hello? That's the best thing about it, I can sleep through just about anything. This is like the longest blog ever, I'm tempted to venture into the Monarch Room simply for your benefit before it's something you'll have to sit down with a meal to finish in it's entirety lest you starve midway.

P.S. In regards to my hip, tender and sore, but she fixed it. If only everything were so easy. This is where someone makes a joke about promiscuity.

Monday, August 31, 2009

Oaths of Moment

I had a really fun day. I think I needed it more than I did any of the days before. Not that anyone here really knew. Not that many people ever know.

I went out to breakfast with my grandfather to this little place in a township everyone here lovingly refers to as Mayberry. Some place that's been there longer than most people reading this have been alive, run by the same people by the same standards. And so on and so forth. Great food.

After that, our trip to the butterfly garden turned into an adventure through the Mall to visit the little Borders inside and ended up a trip to the movies. District 9. Go see it. Everything you've read or heard about it being good is true. I cannot tell a lie! I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it, much to my surprise.

For some reason within the mall they had super gigantic catfish. And an ice rink. I didn't get a picture of that but you bet your ass I got pictures of the super giant fishes. For some reason, despite the crowd near the pond, they thought I was there to feed them. Which presented golden opportunities to get pictures. In fact I got several... interesting photos from the mall.

The Borders outlet there didn't have what I was looking for, so we then went to the big Borders outside. This was like the mega Borders. Could fit two of the Borders from where I'm from inside of it, easily. Two floors of wonderful, wonderful books.

I picked up Horus Rising. Because I'm a fking dork. Me standing in that isle of books caused some kneeling guy sorting through Magic cards to fall over and a clerk to ask me if I was lost. I'm like, "No. I am exactly where I want to be, thank you." Why it's so hard to believe I read geeky things is always a curious thing to me. Didn't they get the memo? Smart is cool now.

My grandfather also gave me a bunch of books to read from his own collection. He has a favorite author now. It's cute. One of the books had some sort of bug in it and it ate little holes clear through a bunch of pages. It makes the book really interesting to look at. I don't know what it'll do for reading it, though. I'm a little nervous about putting it along with my other books out of fear they will meet a similar fate.

Betrayal indeed.

I'd better go. This is the largest banana daiquiri I've ever seen.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Pasta in Clam Sauce

My uncle is a superb chef. He made the best pasta I've had in a really long time last night. Haven't had pasta anywhere near that tasty since my grandfather used to take me to this little old Italian guy's place called Joe's in Detroit. Back when we used to go to the theatre. Ironically, Joe wanted to be a barber. Go figure.

The internet here is as I expected it to be. Perhaps a scoch worse due to the weather. It's sunny today, but it has yet to truly improve. I've yet to get a reliable signal in my room here (sparrow room). When I want to be online I either need to go to the pier or to the room I stayed in last time (monarch room). Oh well.

Speaking of the pier, I got some sketches done there yesterday, dropped my eraser into the lake. Luckily it floats. Have yet to read, not enough alone time to get into it really. I played Sims 3 this morning for some silly amount of time due to a lack of anything else. I made a super fat guy and experimented to see how long it would take to make him super skinny. It didn't take very long. I was disappointed.

Received some crappy news today. I don't really want to talk about it, though. So I won't.

My uncle also made me some brownies. I'm eating one right now. Delicious, healthy brownie. I may go out to the lake again in a bit. I'm undecided. Part of me wants to go hang out in the lovely weather while the other part of me wants desperately to cling to every tiny bit of internet I can find, knowing it will be gone all too soon. Perhaps I'll be an uber nerd and take the laptop down to the water with me. We'll see.

There was a wasp in my bathroom (caramel room) the other morning. I didn't have my hearing aid in and was leaned in towards the mirror putting on mascara so I couldn't see it either. Even so, for some reason I stepped back and looked over in it's direction. One of those gut instincts, I suppose. A feeling you just can't shake until you give in to it. Good thing I did. Wasps are an Inari's natural enemy.

I've been sweetening my coffee with honey instead of sugar while here. It's pretty tasty I must admit. What I found interesting is the honey is vintage. Older than I am. Evelin's mother kept it up until she passed away, then Evelin inherited it. I didn't know untouched honey kept so long and in fact actually improved with age, like wine. Untouched, mind you. Once you start dipping into it you introduce contaminants that'll spoil it with time. Learned something new!

Everyone is gone today. It's just me and Lovey, my aunts toy poodle. That dog is a genius. Everyone keeps waiting for it to actually say something. She's become my little buddy. Much to everyone's surprise. They know I'm good with animals, but the dog is picky and aloof with everyone but my aunt and grandfather. She practically begs for me to pay her mind. It's cute. If Evelin and I go into separate rooms she stands halfway between, torn.

Won some money on the Travers race yesterday. Wanted to see if I still had my childhood knack for picking ponies. I do. Sadly I'm here, not there and just took these people's money. Haha. They shouldn't have bet against me. At least not my grandfather, he knows all too well my ability to pick a horse.

Step 1: Ask how many horses.
Step 2: Listen to answer.
Step 3: ????
Step 4: Victoly!

I'm still not sore from treatment. I keep waiting to wake up unable to move, but it hasn't happened yet. Fingers crossed.

Friday, August 28, 2009


I arrived in Chicago safely, as opposed to dangerously (ty for reminding me). The drive was something like seven hours due to traffic, stopping and so forth. Which is fine, I wasn't in any hurry. I used the time to collect nifty pictures along the road. If there were a better signal strength here in the manse, I'd upload them. Instead you'll have to wait.

There were police everywhere along the way. I'm not sure why. At least three or four times the normal amount. Lots of three-trailer semis too, which should be illegal. They sway all over the road carelessly. There is no reason to have three full sized beds hitched to one truck aside from trying to avoid paying three drivers. There's a reason trains run on tracks and not on roads, afterall.

I also saw an amusingly named hotel. It was called the Saunter Inn.

I had a wonderful time last evening. We watched a great movie from the sixties that I can't even begin to try to spell at this hour and lack the internet fortitude to Google cheat. Hilarious, though. Then we had delicious food and watched Futurama. I also began treatment when I arrived, wasting no time. I'm not as sore as I thought I would be. Hopefully the pain doesn't sneak up on me later.

Finally managed to get enough of a satellite signal through the rain to get online only to almost immediately fall asleep. Sorry about that, guys! I was mighty tired. Didn't help that my bed is huge, my blankets soft, and my pillows here are like laying on fluffy clouds. To complicate matters my laptop crashed long before I woke up to check my messages. So it's like last night never happened!

It is rainy today, too. I think I brought the weather with me. Even now, I type this in Word because signal strength plummeted so low I lost connectivity of any sort. I am so far secluded from other humans that when the weather gets particularly bad like this, I even lose the signal on my cell phone. /boggle

Thankfully I thought ahead and brought a bag of books to read and a sketchpad (that I am using as a mouse pad because I forgot that). I love the rain, but I do hope it lets up soon. Aside from the internet I would like to go draw at the end of the pier at the lake. That just seems all sorts of nice.

Edit: You may notice various references to the obscene time this was written and given it is 9pm now that make's little sense. The reason is I originally wrote this at around 7am and only just now managed to find a room with high enough elevation to find any internets!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Chicago, Here I Come

Mmm, liquid warmth.
Last night I dreamt of androids, vampires, special agents, and an island. Use your imaginations. It was awesome.

We had a BBQ this evening as a last day here for a while kind of thing. Any more than a couple of my family members in a room is always hilariously entertaining. We had some kickass chicken. Seriously. So good. Or maybe I was just extremely hungry. Whatever. I'm thinking of going up in my pajamas to thief a piece to right now. Why not?

Lots of driving tomorrow. At dawn. Haven't decided if I should sleep early to be up at that absurd hour or if I should just stay up. The official start of my two weeks in Illinois soon as I step out of that door!

I've stocked up on essentials and have everything packed so that I can slack off guilt free tonight. Shampoo, conditioner, comb, toothpaste, toothbrush, lotion, facewash, make-up, jewelry, clothing, shoes, bathing suit, sweater, books, paper, pencil, pen... I don't think I've forgotten anything.

I'm bringing my fresh brussel sprouts, too. They will spoil if I leave them here. So I shall take them with me. I'm sure that will raise a few brows, "You brought brussel sprouts with you?"

Heck yes I did.

Monday, August 24, 2009

A Couple of Weeks

I'm back in Ohio until Thursday morning and then it's back to Illinois to dwell in a mansion for two weeks while I go back and forth for various medical treatments. Including pills that are supposedly going to kick my ass to hell and back for a week. Sounds fun.

Then, back to Ohio for a doctor's appointment here! The dreaded Scope test. Dun dun dun!

So enjoy me on (relatively) stable internets while you can, internet people! Come Thursday I'll be live via suckallite again.

I may be a little busy during the day until then. I never packed for this many days up here so I've been wearing the same several outfits over and over again and just doing a lot of laundry. I think it's time I added some additional wardrobe. My nights should be open though!

I feel like I am forgetting to mention something important, or maybe not important at all but just interesting. In either case I can't remember. So. The end!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Long Drives & Weddings

The stay in Chicago was good times. As always. How can you not have fun in a mansion on the lake? Honestly. I didn't get much sleep before the drive to Michigan though, so the journey was something awful. I don't even remember falling asleep the night before, just that I was awoken less than three hours later. I kept trying to sleep in the car, but people were insistent on talking to me so that was impossible.

Someone confronted, "I thought you were going to sleep on the ride?"
I'm like, "How? You keep talking to me. I can't do both!"
Not that I mind conversation, but don't ask me why I haven't slept when you've made sure of it the whole way! Haha.

Driving through Illinois is a neat thing. Driving through Indiana is boring as hell. I think the most exciting thing I saw in Indiana was a flock of sheep. Illinois has Chicago to go through, Michigan has Detroit. Indiana has... yeah.

Ben's wedding was great. I got to see a ton of people I have not seen in something like 10-15 years. As well as some people I have never met before. It was amazing. I think they will do well together.

We had an awesome time. Highlights include Holly climbing a tree in high heels, capturing toads beneath the tables, Heidi catching the bouquet, Ben getting cake-faced, dancing until the cows came home, playing drunken Tetris Attack (??), and passing out trying to watch Transformers 2. Oh and plenty of Jell-o shots.

I think I've hit my monthly alcohol quota.
 I don't check out of this suite until Monday afternoon, so there will be no time for monster slaying this evening. Unfortunate if I didn't have a ton of fun things to do irl because rumor has it we'd be killing some uber monsters tonight.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Your Mom

Today we are spending the day with Paris Hilton's mom. Yes. Indeed. You read that right. Paris Hilton's mother. I'm not sure exactly what to make of that. What would you make of that?

High levels of lol predicted.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Safe Landing

Here's to flying!
The plane was super super tiny and the flight was super super bumpy, but I've arrived no worse for where. I took lots of pictures, even snuck a few after they had firmly instructed all electronic devices to be powered down. They actually used that phrasing. For a second I thought it was 1991 again.

I was in charge of the laptops, which must have looked quite silly. Me, walking (sauntering perhaps???) through the airport with not one but two laptops strapped across me. Like some sort of computer junkie or something. Oh wait...

I'm safely in Chicago now, live via satellite internets. I have extremely limited connectivity because I am not close enough to space. So bear with me. When I'm not super busy in real life I'll be combating low signal strength because rich people like to life in huge mansions in the middle of forests.

WTB rocket ship. It worked for Major Tom right? Right...?

I feel like I am in an extremely posh episode of Dawson's Creek. If anyone remembers that stereotypical teen drama. If I walk outside there is wilderness and a lake. If I want to go the neighbor's house the fastest route would be taking the boat to their dock. Kind of neat, except all the chandeliers leave me feeling constantly under dressed.

I am having fun though, and being productive, outside of right now, so all is well in Inaritopia. Which I suppose is a given otherwise it'd be called Inaridistopia?

Like OMG

I'm slowly running out of time online! In less than an hour I will be at the airport causing a ruckus with security, no doubt. Then it's milling about with a lack of anything to do for two hours while I wait to board. Then I fly through the sky to Chicago! After a few days there I drive, across the ground if we're counting, to Detroit! Two, two big cities in this little journey. I'm thinking large.

I decided to wear a skirt today. A skirt. Yes. Absurd. I know. Also, a hat.

You better be looking at the coffee pot.
Also, a hat!
To those of you in Illinois: I'll see you soon.
To those of you in Michigan: I'll see you later.
To those of you anyplace else: It'll be a while.
To the Internets: Distance, heart, fonder, etc.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Yellow & Black Trefoil

Today's test took a total of three hours and was relatively painless. Played out pretty much exactly as the video included in the last entry, except I was in a room lined with lead and I couldn't take in my purse because they thought I may smuggle radioactive egg out. I have no idea why I would do that, let alone anyone else. Like I'd make a dirty bomb out of nuclear egg or something? The deadliest midnight prank?

That bottom line indeed reads: will be emitting radiation!
The bit that worries me, considering I have a flight in less than a week and they always do all but strip search me under normal circumstances is "Airport alarms may be triggered for up to 12 weeks." Oh good, this time I'll lock down the airport and give them a reason to detain me...