Kink, Not Kinky

Someone went and threw a kink in my Halloween plans. Who? I don't know. Probably one of you heathens that goes shopping all drippy and hacking rather than just staying home. If that's you, screw you. I'm suddenly running a fever of 102.

As tempted as I am to just down some Tylenol and get on with it, I think a visit to the new mini-hospital here in town may be in order. Likely the only place open today aside from the hospital-hospital which is further away. Since my trend is to skip the minute illnesses entirely and aim only for those more badass ones.

Ideally they'll run a few tests, declare it some fluke and send me on my spooky way.

Not like I need a lot of time to get ready or anything. I've always been lucky in that sense. I'm so pale I can wear anything and people assume I'm costumed. I've gone as a vampire almost every year since I was 8. Once my mom made me stop being a princess. No offense mom, but a princess? Really? Granted I was probably far creepier as a little undead girl than I am as a full grown undead woman

Instant vampire. Just add blood.

 Sometimes I don't even bother with fangs. People just assume that's my goal regardless. Which is one of the reasons I tend to stray from dark colors every other day of the year. People may mistake me for some weirdo. My biggest issue this year (aside from having a random fever), I think, will be finding something to wear. Almost all of my clothes are in Florida, so I have a very limited selection.

We'll just have to see what I can come up with!
After I venture to see a doctor.

Danger Needles

Needles full of potential danger! Sixty of them. Just like this.

My arms were too small.

Yeah, I had someone take a picture of my awful hole-filled back at the doctor's office. Don't act like that is weird for me. You know better! Two sets of holes will have to suffice. The rest of the picture is too naked for all you e-lechers.

I totally forgot about this appointment until I was reminded two hours before go time that I had to be ready. No rest for the wicked! Late Inari was late. My shirt was also on inside-out. To make matters worse I went to the wrong building, making me later.

Yes, it is as obnoxious feeling as it looks. Stung like a beast. Still stings now. I'm apparently moderately allergic to everything. Except cats. I didn't keel over or die though, so that is good. That also means however I am like to be stabbed sixty more times in the foreseeable future.

I'm supposed to have an eye kept on me and keep a phone handy just in case I have a delayed adverse reaction. In which case 911 is required. I don't see that happening though. I've had a bagel and an episode of Heroes to balance out being stabbed sixty times, and have been fine thus far. So now I sleep.

Next appointment is on the 19th of November. I don't remember what time.

Blow Fail

I suck at blowing. Yes, there are all sorts of jokes to be made about that. It was far too early in the morning to be awake. Well, I guess I should make that make more sense where it concerns me. It was far too early in the morning to be awake after having slept. As in, not still awake from the day previous. What am I? Some sort of daytime person? Pah!

I waited with George R.R. Martin in the lobby, where I could text people into sleep deprivation. And by people, I mean Aaron. Sleep deprivation loves company.

I had been saving the end of this book (A Clash of Kings) for this occasion (doctor appointment) but someone decided to get into an accident in the parking lot and between the tests and the commotion I didn't get much reading done at all. Much to my displeasure, because really cool things were going on and I had to keep going away. Er, cool things in the book, not cool things in real life.

Some guy in a red car plowed into the tail end of an old guy in a brown car and then had the audacity to just go park and pretend like nothing happened. So some good Samaritans at the bus stop came running in to grab all of the orderlies and bring them outside to confront the guy. I found it odd that they sent an ambulance to take the guy in the brown car to the E.R. considering the E.R. was basically about forty feet to the left of where the accident happened. No one was seriously injured.

The tests were neat. I breathed and blew into various machines in various ways. Though I didn't do so well at it. Judging from my doctor's reactions. He was a small peculiarly shaped man who shared in my love of donuts and Michigan. A person with big lungs scores a 10 on average. A person with small lungs scores a 5 on average. I was scoring about 3.6 which is a pretty sorry number. It made me feel terribly inadequate, despite it being something I don't have any control over.

I don't feel winded, but I guess I am. Or something. He kept telling me to breathe as if I was running away from vampires. He clearly didn't realize I'd be more apt to join vampires. He changed his tactic: breathe as if you are running towards the world's last donut. Also funny, but a much more accurate image for me to strive toward.

Afterward he took me to meet with the hospital chairman dude because he found out I draw things and now they may want me to draw things all over their hospital. Weird opportunities are weird!

Breathe In, Breathe Out

I'll be back in a while. It is hospital time, a time for hospitals. Today we see into my lungs. What will I see into next? Who knows? Not me!

Three Topics

This Thursday is my pulmonary exam. I'm honestly not too concerned about it. Next Tuesday the doctors think they are going to jab 48 needles into my forearms. They must not have gotten a good look at my arms when I was there last. There's no way 48 needles are going to fit. Sorry. That's just not going to happen.

I've been drawing a lot recently, though I've only finished 4 sketches. The others are all in varying stages of line work. As ever you know where to find the new stuff. If not, it's on my deviantArt page.

The All Points Bulletin character creation is surprisingly awesome. It puts Oblivion, Mass Effect, and PSHome to shame. Which is saying quite a bit. I had never really put much stock in APB, granted the last I honestly deigned to look into it was back when it was honestly just an idea on paper. So. Not that a great CharGen will make a great game. AoC taught us that.

Nine Vials

That is how much blood they took today. We also got lost in the hospital. Thankfully I had my handy dandy walking cane for the miles and miles we trekked. Seriously. They scheduled me for a pulmonary exam this Thursday... next Thursday? At 8:30 in the morning. They scheduled it after draining me of life force so the details are sketchy. I'll find the slip of paper to confirm the date when I go to get my epi prescription filled tonight. I left all of it in the car in my haste to get in and eat something before I face-planted.

I need a surplus of epi pens because apparently being deaf paints me as a huge victim-target of sneaky insects I can't hear buzzing. I'm also supposed to tell all of you how to do me right just in case I can't. Which I hadn't really ever considered. So here. Gray cap off, stab opposite end of epi pen into my thigh. Like you see on medical dramas all the time. Easy peasy.

There is a delay when I exhale. Doctor guy was surprised none of my previous doctors had found that curious enough to look into. So he insists it gets looked into. I already know I've got asthma, but it's been fairly nonexistent for a few years now. Apparently even when mostly symptom free it still puts me at an elevated risk for pneumonia. In fact it pretty much guarantees pneumonia every time I get any sort of respiratory infection.

I wish another doctor had brought this up before. Considering I've had pneumonia the last two winters in a row. I should be receiving yearly vaccines, I'm told. I didn't even know they had pneumonia vaccines. Fail.

It's a little grating to think about because pneumonia is what I had shortly before I woke up deaf. If it could've been prevented by a little (insert colorful word) foresight that's pretty aggravating. I've been a pretty good sport about losing a sense, but things like that are bothersome to think about.

You know what I miss? The sound a spoonful of sugar makes when you dump it into a mug of hot coffee. The sound crunchy autumn leaves make when you step on them. Wind chimes.  Frogs talking to eachtoher. Crickets to warn me if ninja are coming. Things like that. Things most hearing people probably rarely even notice.

It's surprisingly not convenient things like knocking at the door, the microwave timer, the phone ringing, traffic. I scarcely miss those things at all unless I burn my food. I don't even think about them. Yet every time I put sugar in my coffee I think about that strange sound it used to make.

But I digress.

I need to pick up another pair of ear buds tonight, since my old ones died while in Illinois. I've been trying to use headphones but it sounds hallow and it's difficult to make out consonants and syllables which is all I have to go by. I also need another tube of lip gloss and perhaps a lot of donuts. You can never have too many donuts.

My grandfather misses me terribly now that I've gone. So as tribute to him, I add his favorite song to my playlist. Michael Franti's Say Hey. Every time we drove anywhere, which was often, this song would come on and he'd turn it way way up and sing along. There is something about a 75 year old man singing along to the stereo that is too awesome to possibly put into words. So I won't try.

Inari House

You've waited long enough, my patient darlings. Tomorrow is the day for testing, which makes today the day for revelation.

Since I cannot feel my feet my doctors have collectively determined it wise for me to walk with assistance. Or severely limit time spent walking. This was meant to be bad news but I decided I'd make it good instead. Screw that. I made it a surprise. And it's awesome.

I'm too spiffy for a sterile-looking prescription cane or forearm crutch. No sirs and ma'ams, those won't do. So I got my measurements and did myself a favor. I now own a 36" ebony cane with silver collar and matching inscription plate. What could I have possibly had etched into my cane you may wonder? "Cowards die in shame."

Yes, shame.

Other geeky considerations were, "Victory is life." And, "The Force shall free me." In fact, they haven't been ruled out for future inscriptions. I could get nerdier. You get extra cool points if you know where any of these quotes come from.

A friend of mine regarded this as one step closer to becoming a female House, because I cannot refrain from being a smart ass. It's like the side of my brain saying "That's not nice," gets bitch slapped by the part of my brain going, "Hahaha!" Before I know it, I've said whatever it was regardless. All I have to do now is get a chemical dependency and a medical degree. I'll get right on that...

So anyway, Inari+cane. Who's bad?

Now Departing Radiation Station

I thought I would take today to share something interesting. The last of the radiation is finally leaving my body so I'm shedding like a lizard. It's a little creepy, I must admit. At least it's exclusive to my arms and legs. It would be far creepier if I was shedding all over the place. Or if I shed all of my skin at once like a snake. Actually, that would probably be kind of neat.

Once all the radiated skin cells are gone I'll stop shedding. Given how sheddy I am that shouldn't be long.

This is my arm after having applied a mega-hydrating lotion (which is essentially like slathering yourself in lard):

Sexy, I know.

 Can you imagine if the lotion were less hydrating? Or if I hadn't applied lotion at all?

Our bodies are cool things aren't they? I thought of wearing short sleeves and shorts just to weird people out when I go places. But it's cold here in Ohio. I'd freeze my ass off. 54°F. Overcast and windy. I'm indoors in sweatpants, long sleeves, socks and a sweater while under a blanket and I'm still cold. Actually now that I really think about it that's probably not normal. Likely also due to the radiation going away.  I've been radioactive so long my body thinks normal is a weird change. It'll get over it.

Something arrives the day before my appointment on the 13th. I won't tell you guys what just yet because it's rad enough to be a surprise. It will be more rad than iguana arm. I promise. You'll have to wait.

For now, I sleep.

Detention

Here's a little blast from the past. I wonder if I served this or if Lena served it for me? They always used to mix us up... I find the reasoning quite amusing.

Looks like nothing has changed!