Thursday, October 20, 2011

Millions of Peaches

One time while I was staying at my aunt's manse in Illinois, my grandfather was eating a can of peaches. That may seem weird to you on its own, but he is an old person and they are entitled to do whatever the hell they want. What was weird is how much he was complaining about these peaches. I could hear him chastising the peaches from a whole other room, "These are so bland!"

I decide not to intervene and continue reading my book by the koi pond. Eventually, however, he called me over to investigate his peaches with science. Only I do not need science at all because the moment I arrive I see that he is not eating a can of peaches at all. He is eating a can of whole potatoes. Granted, peeled whole potatoes, but whole potatoes none-the-less. Forgivable since the two, without reading the labels, actually look remotely similar.

Not peaches.
Until you realize, that for some reason, I don't think my grandfather knows what a peach actually is. Or perhaps he's forgotten somehow. To illustrate this point (without actually illustrating it), while watching an episode of The Office, where Dwight is eating from a can of beets, my grandpa thought those too were peaches. Beets look nothing like peaches. Edit: I'm informed Dwight was eating canned tomatoes, which doesn't help my grandfather's case out any.

Also not peaches.

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