Saturday, December 10, 2011


I'm not sure if this is something that happens to all narcoleptics or maybe just me, but it's something I experience several times per week if not daily. Heck, it may even happen to some of you normal folk. I don't know.

I've been prescribed what equates to top grade Speed for my condition but refuse to take it. Instead I self medicate using caffeine. Tea or coffee more often than not, all throughout the day. Sometimes however I wake up so remarkably sleepy that nothing I do seems to help at all.

Slept 8 hours. Still sleepy.

I start out slowly, hoping a cup of coffee will turn the morning around for me. Set me off to the right start I must just be shy of reaching.

Mmm, coffee.

And yet...

Not feeling it.

Not one to surrender so easily, I get another cup. Perhaps my coffee to water ratio was off today.

Surely, this will do it.


$&#@ you sunlight.

Now I'm mad. But with nothing to direct my frustration towards, I glare out the window and seethe in the general direction of the sun for making it daytime. Then I drink four or five more cups of coffee as fast as I can.

What was that sound?!

Not even this wakes me up. Instead I just get paranoid. Every noise I hear is a burglar. Maybe I can work with this though. Maybe I can frighten myself into feeling less sleepy.

Maybe not.

So I get another cup of coffee and sip at it longingly. Forsaken by the sun and early birds everywhere.

Whatever. Why not?

Then all of a sudden without any warning at all, something happens. Something finally happens.

Oh my! What a nice day.

Suddenly I'm way more awake than I had been moments earlier. I'm also chipper. Even so, I somehow don't realize the caffeine is catching up to me, so I continue drinking my coffee until this happens:


Now everything ever is the best and I am able to do anything. Whatever I needed to do gets done in record time. Even things I didn't need to do get done anyway, because doing things seems like the greatest idea I've ever had. The harshness of reality melts away and suddenly the world is composed of rainbows, cupcakes, and purring kittens. It could be the caffeine Armageddon and I was the only one to be raptured but it doesn't matter because it's fantastic.

Then I crash and wind up laying on the floor of the computer room curled up beside the bookshelf. Immune to the effects of caffeine for at least six hours.

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