Pets Are Messier Than Children

Took a little nap on the couch, which is impressive when you are being climbed all over by a small human with pointy elbows and knees. Maybe 20 minutes tops.

Woke up to find a cat disaster spanning 3 rooms. In which Intruder "the fluffy one" Willmington pooped, got it stuck in her butt fur, drug her ass ALL the way down the hallway, then finally got it off in the living room. So that is how I've spent my morning.

And all I could think about while on my hands and knees like Cinderella with a scrub brush was about how when I was pregnant everyone balked, "Oh, what are you gonna do about all the diapers? Babies are gross." Like, have you owned a pet?! Something else's bodily functions was already a part of my daily life years before having a kid.

I've cleaned up way more dog, cat, bird, hamster, turtle, and snake excrement than I have human. The contest isn't even close.

Hello, Hank

Pardon me a moment while I geek out about being noticed by senpai™. Last week I was psyched when Hank Green (Sci Show, Crash Course, Vlog Bros, Project for Awesome, VidCon, etc.) followed me on tumblr.

I don't really get excited about celebrities, internet or otherwise, but Hank and the people he works with do a lot of wonderful things and so it's very cool exception.

Anyway, so he followed me last week and I thought that was the bee's knees but also figured his dash was probably very full and he would rarely ever be looking at my posts. Let alone my original content.

Then I got to my computer today to find a post I'd made last night on the brink of sleep had gotten over 600 notes in under an hour. Now, it's well known the posts I make while falling asleep are always my most popular but not that popular.

Turns out Hank reblogged it. Also it's indirectly about poop.
*Laughs into the sunset forever and ever.*

My Writing Cliche

Someone remarked that I write a lot of my characters as mothers. Like writing mothers was my thing. I was confused by this because, surely not? Of all the characters I've written I could only think of a few off the top of my head.

But this seemed to be a widely held notion, so, being very confused and having nothing else to do with 20 minutes of my afternoon aside from have a migraine, I decided to grab a pencil and see if maybe *I* was wrong. The stats are thus:

Of 17 female characters written...

4 were mothers or had the desire to become such
13 were not mothers and had no desire to become such
1 was gay
4 were bisexual
9 were asexual, sex-repulsed, prude, or chaste

Turns out writing asexuals (or women who are otherwise chaste) is more my thing. An equally unexpected result, honestly.

Some further stats for curiosity's sake:

Of 17 female characters written...

10 were physically strong
7 were physically weak
13 had above average intellect
4 had average or below intellect
4 were married or in long term relationships
13 were not married or in long term relationships
6 wanted to conquer the world
11 did not want to conquer the world
2 of the 6 who wanted to conquer the world succeeded
9 were leaders
8 were followers
7 were WOC
7 were not WOC
5 had disabilities that impacted their lives significantly
12 did not have disabilities

So my thing is to write intellectually and physically superior women who have no interest in motherhood or men and positive life goals. LOL. Welp, the more you know.

Brussel, Bro Russel

While drunkenly discussing the origin of the name Brussel Sprouts (sometimes seen as Brussel’s Sprouts), I suggested maybe the guy who discovered them was named Brussel. “Bro Russel,” I further explain, trying to stifle my own laughter. “The brother of Russel.” I don’t know why I find this so hilarious, but I’m shaking with laughter and no one else is laughing.

I go on to declare my next born son shall be named Brussel, because he'll technically be a bro Russel (though his brother's name would be Jude not Russel). To which Aaron disagrees, "Only if you had twins. Then you could name one Russel and the other one Brussel. That's the only way he can be Bro Russel."

I laugh until I'm crying at this, mostly because I've gotten Aaron to oblige my ridiculousness. It was only half a glass of wine, I'm just a light weight who'd forgotten to eat lunch.