Google has recently decided to start guessing what I'm going to search for. Its guesses are based on no clear pattern I can identify. It certainly is not using previous search inquiries or things I like, such as octopodes or tulips or robots. With every letter I input it just randomly starts adding letters of its own. Sometimes even whole sentence fragments. Like a terrible game of charades or hang-man or some other game based completely on guessing at random (Wheel of Fortune, I'm looking at you).
This makes even the simplest of searches unnecessarily complicated as I spazz out in a desperate attempt to backspace so that my completely innocent intent to look up, "manatees bumping into things," (you're welcome) doesn't spiral out of control into a search for, "man eats himself one bite at a time." Or something equally unrelated and probably bad.
I know there are settings I can go into to turn this feature off, but here's the problem: it never stays off. It turns itself back on out of the blue all of the time. Not simply if I restart or close the tab or crash my browser. No. All the time. I can turn it off as I'm searching and it will turn back on as soon as I begin to type again. Just to %#@& with me.
This is what happened to me earlier today when Aaron asked me if I would mind if he turned my corpse into a diamond if I died first (the answer was no, I don't mind). Then out of curiosity I wanted to find out how big of a diamond a human body could make. Bigger than a breadbox? I don't god damned know because Google hijacked my search and I looked up this instead:
|What the hell?|
Furthermore, those statistics are kind of frightening. A woman dies in childbirth every minute? FFS, we can clone eachother and walk around on the moon, why are we still dying having babies?
P.S. I do not live in North Highlands, CA. I do not know why Google thinks I do.
P.P.S. Seems like the max size for a human-diamond is 1.5ct.