So yesterday I managed to swallow a spider.
It was in my drink and I realized as I was swallowing but it was far too late to stop. All eight legs, nomnomnom! I sat there for a moment afterward like it had been some huge life defining moment, unsure of how to proceed. I began wondering if it was trying to climb out and then promptly decided not to think about it anymore.
No worry, my friends wouldn't let it pass so quickly.
"I wonder what it was thinking?"
"Yay! I'm swimming! Ah! OH GOD!"
"#*@& MY LIFE."
"What if he was like super ninja spider and slung web on the way down to avoid ultimate doom and is now living inside of you?"
Thanks for that last one, guys. That's not disturbing at all or anything. It was also decidedly a he who suffered from arachnid depression and his name was Albert. Apparently. This one's for you, Al. /salute