Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Caloric Intake

I am attempting to consume 2500 calories per day in an effort to maintain my current weight while breast feeding. What I am finding is that, even trying, eating more than 2000 calories is really hard! Even on days where I eat breakfast, second breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner, and dessert on top of snacking.

5/21/2013
Calories total: 2287
Calories after breastfeeding: 1787

5/22/2013
Calories total: 1849
Calories after breastfeeding: 1339

5/23/2013
Calories total: 2338
Calories after breastfeeding: 1838

5/24/2013
Calories total: 2387
Calories after breastfeeding: 1887

5/25/2013
Calories total: 1944
Calories after breastfeeding: 1444

5/26/2013
Calories total: 1486
Calories after breastfeeding: 986

5/27/2013
Calories total: 1750
Calories after breastfeeding: 1250

In a roughly a week I did not manage to meet my goal of 2500 calories a single time. In fact, I even managed not/barely to break 1000 on a few occasions. Ugh! And I'm not a health nut eating only fat free sugar free bird food. My diet consists of meat and cheeses and even fast food. How the hell do people manage to eat more than 2000 calories by accident?

Example Meal Plan:

Breakfast
2 servings of oatmeal
1 serving of Chai latte

Second Breakfast
1 serving of waffles with butter and maple syrup
1 serving of chocolate milk

Brunch
An everything Bagel with cream cheese

Lunch
Grilled cheese sandwich on buttermilk bread

Dinner
1 1/2 servings of pork potstickers
1 serving of white rice
2 servings of sugar snap peas

Dessert
1 coconut popsicle

Snacks
1-2 servings pita chips with hummus
1-2 servings of rice cakes
4 servings of Fig Newtons

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Mother's Day

In honor of Mother's Day, my favorite pictures of my mom!

Her smile here makes me so happy.
It's the 80's, as if our hair didn't say as much.
She's having trouble reaching the top!
I'm not supposed to post this on Myface (aka The Internet).
Margarita Ville, Population: 2
Cheers!
Yes, I am the whitest person in our family.
My mom is the shortest though.
We are trying really hard to be srs.
But we cannot.
She's probably telling me not to take pictures of her when she doesn't know it.
She got up at 3AM to wait at the airport with me before I went to CA for a month.
Mom and Papa, having fun.
Peace.
Her's was empty.
We are talking on the phone AND the computer. Haha.
Monkey babies.
lol.
Pffft.
Zzz.
Karaoke night!
 
I love you, Mom. Thanks for everything.

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Phone Induced Anxiety

I've never been an anxious person really. However recently I have developed a severe case of phone-related anxiety. Notably when someone I care about tells me, "I need you to call me ASAP." Especially if ASAP isn't for hours or even a whole day. I just sit there imagining what tragic news they're going to break to me and eat Tums like a fat kid with a tub of M&M's.

I wasn't always like this, but this past year or so almost every time someone has said those words it has been bad news. Not even bad news, more like the worst news you can imagine at the time. To the point where hearing or reading them just sets my stomach to churning.

It could be something as benign as scheduling an impromptu lunch date with a friend who unexpectedly found themselves in the neighborhood -- but if they don't specify and just tell me to call as soon as I can, I set to panic mode. It's quite absurd, I know. It's just been programmed into me lately that an urgent need to talk is inherently going to be terrible.

Friday, May 17, 2013

Sunscreen

Studies show that the correct amount of sunscreen applied to the body for it to actually work as directed is 1 ounce. If you need a visual, that's about a shot glass of sunscreen. You're also meant to reapply it every 2 hours, regardless of whether or not you were sweating or swimming. That means if you have a 6 ounce bottle, it should only last you about 12 hours in the sun, not all season!

If you're relying on make-up as a sunscreen, you need to apply an entire teaspoon of liquid foundation for your face to gain the full benefit (who the hell wears that much foundation?!) and if you use powder you need to apply a gram of it or half a compact worth. wtf.

Now of course if you're only getting minimum exposure, and only some of you is even being directly hit by the sun, you can get away with less. If you're at the pool or the beach however, you better stock up! And remember, sun can damage your skin through clouds and glass so apply appropriately even if it's overcast or you're just spending a day at the office in front of your big picture window.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

What Are You Doing Macy's?

So, Macy's, care to explain why you are charging so much more for the exact same piece of jewelry? Both are sterling silver (not gold as Macy's price might suggest) with the exact same measurements and include an 18" chain. I am very curious as to why Macy's price is so different? I understand that prices must be higher when you operate a store with an actual storefront, but marking up prices this much can only be out of greed.

Mother & Child Locket from Amazon, price includes free shipping.
List price: $50.00
Price: $25.00

Mother & Child Locket from Macy's, price does not include shipping.
List price: $150.00
Sale price: $79.00

Even their sale price is absurd. Looking through a few of their other listings reveal a lot of other questionable things. Suchas silvertone and plated jewelry starting at $45.00, I'm sorry but at that price you can get actual silver elsewhere. The whole thing seems intentionally misleading. Anyone who trusts an old name like Macy's may not realize how important it is to shop around, and may not read the fine print to realize they're not in some cases buying actual precious metals.

It's no secret that Macy's is a pricey place to shop, but prior to this I thought it was due to quality. It used to be that way. However if I can buy things made by the exact same designer, in the exact same condition, with the exact same materials, for less than half the price basically anywhere else... what the shit, Macy's?

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Creating a Nemesis

If you believe your life so mundane or inconsequential that you require an adversary, I feel bad for you. If in your need for a nemesis you are willing to take an innocent person and cast them in the role of villain, you aren't a good person. In fact, I'd go so far as to say you're a remarkably bad person.

Georg Simmel once said, "nothing unites a nation, or any group of people for that matter, quite like having a common enemy," I don't think however that he meant for you to make one up. I definitely don't think he meant for you to make up several just so you can move from one to the next without pause. That's just unhealthy in a you-need-a-psychologist way. Perhaps even in a you-need-to-be-medicated way.

You may feel more important for a day, perhaps even a week or two, but in the end you are still alone. Your life is still mundane; you still feel inconsequential. And the object of your undeserved malice? Their frustration and bewilderment has faded and they've moved on with their life. Creating enemies for yourself is a band-aid, but you're still bleeding out.

What you need to do is take a step back and review your life and your choices and try to discover the underlying issue. Else, your life will be filled with enemies, but you'll never find fulfillment. Any friendships you do have will continue to be fleeting and about as deep as a puddle.

Monday, May 13, 2013

People Be Crazy

So, a thing happened last night. One of those completely unexpected things that gets so blown out of proportion and convoluted you can't help but feel there's some level of legitimate crazy involved. As you all know, I play a good amount of video games. Rather, I used to before I became a mother and my free time was reduced to zero. In one of these games I was an officer of a guild, which is like middle management if you have no idea what the shit I'm talking about.

I've been the leader (CEO? I don't know, man, real world comparisons aren't easy to relate) of several huge, wildly successful guilds in the past and an officer in many other big, thriving guilds to date. So I kind of know what I'm doing. There's never been a complaint about my ability or judgment. I am the unbias one, the person who will make the tough calls if it's truly better for everyone regardless of my own personal feelings. I am also the person who will stick their neck out for the little guy provided the little guy deserves it.

A few months ago, I was asked to relinquish my title due to my absence following the birth of our son. I agreed under the premise that the title was still in all regards mine to reclaim the moment I wanted to. My privileges on the forums were retained so that I would not become hopelessly out of the loop, since while I could not get into the game often I was on the forums every day. Also to remain in the loop I frequently speak with present officers about current membership and the overall state of things. I know who is who and what is what despite having only logged in three times this month.

I've been popping into the game more recently when I get the chance and upon doing so, I've been receiving queries from people about the state of the guild. People sincerely concerned about things. Why me, as I'm not technically an officer right now? I don't know. It is what it is.

These are concerns, not accusations. Let me note the distinction there. Each complaining member came to me in private, in confidence, for reassurance what seemed to be going on wasn't truly the case. Were these accusations, they'd be chatting about this publicly to the detriment of the guild's image to the community. This is not the case. Therefor when they asked for anonymity, I saw no reason not to promise it to them.

I decided after a number of these concerns being brought to me to make a thread about them on our private officer forums. Which is, you know, the exact appropriate place for such things to be made. Nothing huge. Not a big deal; just a heads up that "Hey, these feelings are out there. Maybe we can try a little harder to assuage them?" To maybe encourage more mindful decision making. Like taking off your shoes when you enter someone's house so you don't get mud on their carpet.

People kind of flipped their shit, however. The reaction was far more hostile than I ever could've imagined. Names were DEMANDED from me. Names I had sworn I wouldn't give out because members were afraid of an adverse reaction (we have one particularly caustic officer). Which I thought unfounded until... they decided to shoot the messenger. My judgment was immediately drawn into question, as was my honesty. Like I had anything to gain from making this thread. As if I would waste what precious little time I have were the concerns not brought to me by reputable, long term, well liked members of the guild. It was pretty offensive to say the least and I'm about the hardest person in the universe to offend.

All of this was being filtered down to me from third parties. Other officers in the guild privy to the conversation about me and what I had posted that didn't actually include me. Not that it needed to be as I pretty much knew exactly how it was taken and who was angered by it when my privileges on the forums were almost immediately revoked. Even were I going to answer questions, I no longer could. I was told these claims held no water unless I gave them names. This, to me, was kind of like demanding to know the name of the person whose house you just walked into before taking your muddy shoes off. It's unimportant. Taking off your shoes is just the polite, civil thing to do regardless. Yet here we were. And here we are, with it still under active debate.

I've been assured the hostiles are few in number and had "had a bad day" but really that's no excuse. I've had plenty of crap days and not once taken it out on other people. There has still yet to be any direct communication about it with me. To the point where I'm ready to just wash my hands of it. As it's gone from an issue that could really be fixed in less than one second just by switching channels in Mumble to some huge conspiracy that requires a witch hunt. For fuck's sake, take your medication.

Disclaimer: Left intentionally vague. This could be about any guild in any MMO, really. That way it remains harmless to present guild's self image, regardless of whether or not they deserve such consideration.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

WTB A Break

ffs.

After only getting four hours of sleep, Jude wakes up at 5:00AM. I crawl out of bed miserably and step in cat poop as I leave the bedroom. Neelix poop, to clarify, which means it's basically shit the size of a grown man. I have to go wash my foot AND pick up crap before I can get into the nursery to tend the baby, which as you can imagine only makes him fussier. I have no idea why he decided to use the hallway as a bathroom, the litterbox is only like five feet from where he went and isn't gross or anything. I can only assume that perhaps it was occupied and he just couldn't wait.

I manage to coax Jude back to sleep once I get in there and return to bed myself, only for him to wake up five minutes after I get comfortable. From here I try to get him to sleep in bed with us, but Aaron starts to snore and scares the shit out of him. Then I try to rock him to sleep in the nursery which works, but the moment I put him down and leave to reclaim whatever section of the bed is open, he wakes up. I attempt to go sleep with him out in the living room but as soon as I emerge the cats start SCREAMING at me to feed them, even though they don't get breakfast for another two whole hours. I try one last time to put him to sleep in his crib but he isn't having it, so we're up for the day. Total time wasted: three hours.

Now it is time for the cats to eat, so I settle Jude into his swing to free up my hands. When I turn around to go feed the cats, I immediately step in a nice warm pile of cat vomit. Great. I hop into the bathroom to wash my foot, yet again, and then clean up puke. Nothing like cleaning up feces and bile first thing in the morning.

When I get t the pantry I realize we only have enough cat food to feed one cat. How this went unnoticed last night, I have no idea. So I try to split it up evenly between the two. I know there are a few cans of wet food in there, somewhere, but I'll be damned if I can locate them. So I'm just coping with being yelled at every ten minutes by the cats who are quick to realize their portions were incorrect. They aren't starving. I can deal with them later.

Jude's still happy in his swing, so I decide now is a good time to fetch my own breakfast. Only we're out of oatmeal. So I figure I'll just get a bowl of Raisin Bran, only there are no clean bowls. Damn it. I consider a bagel briefly until I realize there are also no clean butter knives to spread the cream cheese. Also, no cream cheese. I remember we still have frozen waffles, so I go about preparing those only to discover we've got no clean plates either. What. The. Fuck. is going on in my house?

I go ahead and throw some waffles in the toaster, resigned to reuse my plate from yesterday (it's just maple syrup after all) and set to loading the god damned dish washer. Of course nothing there goes right either. Nothing has been rinsed or soaked, so it takes ages to get everything in there and then once I do object A catches on object B when I try to close it and the entire silverware basket spills into the bottom of the dishwasher. Really? Really? Was this necessary? I fish everything from inside with a lot of awkward wiggling and reload the stupid thing.

By now Jude's patience has worn thin and he's fussy. I'm forced to reassure him constantly as I butter my now-cold waffles that I have not in fact abandoned him or been eaten by dingos. I sit down and turn on the xbox so that we can have some background noise as we eat only... we have no internet! Annnnnnd then the baby poops. He may a well not have been wearing a diaper for all the good it did.  Let's mop up excrement for like the third time before breakfast! You've got to be kidding me. 

I finally manage to choke down my breakfast in time to make Jude his. By some grace, I manage to puree his pears and bananas all without incident. Up until I knocked the pepper grinder off of the counter anyway, coating a three foot radius all around me in pepper. Oh and when updating this blog to inform you of this new incident, the changes didn't save. So, there's another thing gone wrong. Then, when getting up to fetch a drink, I tripped over my cellphone charger, spilling said drink! My life is the most obnoxious comedy.

Is nothing going to go right all day? It is getting to the point where I'm afraid to do anything out of fear of how terribly it may go wrong. It's only a matter if time before I get electrocuted or hit by a car.