Friday, February 5, 2016

Group Dynamics: Who Are You?

When I read books or watch shows I try to figure out who in the group (if there is a group) I would be in such a scenario based on my skills, strengths, and weaknesses. It’s a fun mental exercise, good for discussions with friends, and puts you into the setting more than a spectator, at least for a few minutes.

For a popular example in The Walking Dead, while my favorite character is probably Glenn, I would be the strange lovechild of Carol and Daryl. With the practical know-how and grit to get through most situations unscathed due to circumstance/life pre-apocalypse.

I’m sure other people do this as well. Is there anyone out there who sees themselves as, say… Aiden? Gabriel? Not just people who are awful, like The Governor or Merle, but people who add very little to the group or are actually detrimental to its well being due to flippant laziness/selfishness.

Like, holy crap, I would change my life IMMEDIATELY.

Monday, February 1, 2016

In Which I Rant About Men

There is this thing that dudes do during an argument, where they ignore what you are explicitly telling them and then try to make out what you’re actually mad about and it’s the most ridiculous and infuriating thing ever. Then, regardless of how many times you try to explain to them exactly what you’re upset about, they’ll just cling to this one imaginary thing they’ve made up and act like you’re being unreasonable.

Obligatory disclaimer, because this is the internet: I’m sure chicks have done something similar, but in my experience the people employing this tactic are overwhelmingly men. Not all men, but a fucking lot of men. We’re talking about them. I legitimately don’t care about your shitty aunt Helen. Also, names withheld to protect... well clearly not the innocent. But, y'know.

In example: My friend’s husband, who is normally a hard working reasonable adult human, came home stumbling-drunk. That is so drunk he could barely walk upright without falling over. He didn’t just come home, though. He did not follow the established protocol of call a friend or a cab -- he drove home that way. Endangering his life and the lives of others. No one in their right mind would argue that this is not something to be angry about.

Then, to make matters worse, he was so drunk that he walked into the wrong room (read: any room other than the bathroom) and pissed on the carpet. So there she is, cleaning up a grown man’s urine in a room where there should never even be urine, and he’s mad at her. At this point I’m glad I live across the country now or you’d probably see me on a gd episode of Snapped.

Did I mention they have a kid and that these shenanigans woke the child up before dawn? Because yeah, that also happened. Imagine trying to explain to your small child why their father keeps falling over and shouting at an hour when most people are asleep. Imagine trying to explain why mommy is so upset about it -- without making him seem like an unforgivable monster. Because children of that age, much like Sith lords, think in absolutes.

Okay, so here we are with three completely reasonable, understandable things to be absolutely furious with another human being over and you know what he says when he finally wakes up sober and she goes to talk to him about it? You know what he says when she lays it all out, in case he’d drunkenly forgotten what went on? “Well if you don’t want me to hang out with my best friend just say so. Don’t make up excuses. Say what you mean.”

Are you fucking kidding me?

So what he took out of A) driving drunk, B) pissing in a room that is not a bathroom, and C) waking their child being fall-down-drunk is that he cannot hang out with his best friend? Like, I’m sorry, you’ve been friends with this guy the entirety of your relationship and this is the first time this has ever happened. So clearly, the problem isn’t your best friend. You are the problem. Your choices and what you did are the problem.

He’s trying to deflect the issue and make her the guilty party and it’s just like, holy shit are you serious? Have you lost your damned mind there’s no way, bro.

I’m so proud of my friend for recognizing that bullshit and shutting it down. It doesn’t matter if it’s once or daily, if the behavior is unacceptable it is unacceptable even the first and only time it happens. Make it known. Don’t let it slide because it’s a first offense.

He’s since made amends and promised it’ll never happen again, he’s apologized for all the actual shit he did wrong. You know what he hasn’t apologized for though? Trying to deflect the issue and make her the guilty party. As if that wasn’t wrong too. No, man. Heart to heart time: that shit’s wrong, you manipulative turd. Fucking apologize.

In another example: Once my ex was flirting with chicks on the internet instead of making dinner (I was on bed rest) and so I confronted him about the fact that I only had an hour window after taking my medication in which to eat and he’d already wasted thirty-five minutes of it trying to convince a girl in an MMO to show him her tits and you know what he said?

“You’re just jealous. Like every other girl. Just like my ex.”

Bitch, what? I haven’t cared the previous 100x, I don’t care now. This relationship is already over. My dude, we’re roommates. You could move her in and fuck her in the room with me there and I’d not give any shits. Just make me some soup first. I’m not jealous I’m fucking hungry. Google titties like a normal person. Fuck.

You’re not going to convince me I’m being unreasonable when it’s your one fucking responsibility in life other than wiping your own ass, I did literally everything else in that house. Guys need to gtfo with that shit. If someone is telling you why they are mad, you don’t need to go digging to try to decipher what they’re mad about. They just fucking told your ass. It’s not a mystery, Scoob.


Sunday, January 17, 2016

Women Can Dislike Women

I think my biggest pet peeve in the gaming community (aside from harassment, obv.) is that if I, a woman, dislike another woman for any reason, it is immediately dismissed as cattiness by literally everyone. Even people who should know better will question my dislike of another woman online. To make it worse, when the woman is inevitably awful to them too they all act shocked as if they had not been warned ahead of time.

I can offhandedly say I dislike a man for any number of reasons, big or small, and everyone will take my dislike of that man completely seriously.

But if I say I dislike another woman, even for a completely valid reason, like say she poisoned my dog or something, no one will take that dislike to heart. Not one person. Everyone will immediately assume I am being too hard on her or that I should be the bigger person because maybe she has changed since killing my dog.

Like???

I’m sorry, but no. If I dislike someone it’s for a reason. Their genitalia has absolutely nothing to do with it. I can dislike a woman without being catty. I do not dislike her because she is a woman, I dislike her because she is a bad person. If you listen to logic and reason when I dislike a man, listen to logic and reason when I dislike a woman. It isn’t any different.

This has happened to me, I’ve seen it happen to other women, it so needs to stop already. It’s ridiculous. I am aggressively there for women supporting women. That said, women can dislike women. For valid reasons even. Stop acting like that’s impossible.

Wednesday, January 13, 2016

Goodbye 2015, Hello 2016

Another year, another end of year survey!

Where did you begin 2015?

At home.

What was your status by Valentine's Day?
Taken.

Were you in school (anytime this year)?
No.

Did you have to go to the hospital?
No.

Did you have any encounters with the police?
No.

Where did you go on vacation?
I did not get a vacation.

What did you purchase that was over $500?
Nothing.

Did you know anybody who got married?
Negative.

Did you know anybody who passed away?
Daphne.

Did you move anywhere?
Yes!

What sporting events did you attend?
None.

What concerts/shows did you go to?
n/a.

Where do you live now?
California.

What's the one thing you thought you would never do but did in 2015?

Start playing MMO's again.

What has/have been your favorite moment(s)?
Family nights.
Jude's 3rd birthday.
Moving into a place with our own yard!
Thanksgiving in our new house.
Building Lego with Aaron.

What's something you learned about yourself?

My level of patience may cause me to transcend to a higher state of existence. :P

Any new additions to your family?
No.

What was your best month?
Eh, October maybe.

What music will you remember 2015 by?
Anything, Hedley.

Made new friends?
Indeed!

Favorite Night[s] out?

Denny's for seasonal pancakes.

Any regrets?
Never.

What do you want to accomplish in 2016?
Get this baby talking!

What would you change about 2015?
Take more time for myself.

Other than home, where did you spend most of your time?

Eileen's house.

Have any life changes in 2015?
Moved!

Change your hairstyle?

No.

Get a new job?
 Still Pro Mom.

Do you have a New Year's resolution?
Get more rest.

Did anything embarrassing?
Constantly.

What was/were your favorite purchase[s]?
Rose oil.
Jude's sensory ball.
Lily of The Valley bulbs.
Michonne action figure.

Get married or divorced?
No.

Did you get sick this year?
As ever.

Start a new hobby?
Nope.

Are you happy to see 2015 go?
It's been a year.

Drank Starbucks in 2015?
I haven't.

What are you wishing for in 2016?
Seeing my family would be great.