Friday, April 27, 2012

Angry Birds

I told you guys a while back that I had a funny (and creepy) story about Angry Birds, an ipad, and a camcorder to tell, but I wanted to illustrate it so it wound up getting delayed by procrastination. Well, here it is...

Aaron and I went to L.A. for Spring Break. While there we took a trip to Best Buy to look for a case for his new Smart Phone as well as for him to surprise buy me a super cool tablet for my birthday. While he was sneakily off looking at tablets, I was standing in the ipad aisle playing Angry Birds and looking up videos of Slow Loris.Which, you know, is the primary function of Best Buy.

Totally oblivious.

Unbeknownst to me there was a man several aisles back in the camcorder section video taping me as I did this. To make it worse, he was uploading the footage from the store camera onto his iphone. Why? I do not know. My only comfort was in knowing that, at least at the time of this event, both of his hands were occupied by technology.
Not creepy at all...

I watched three or four Slow Loris videos and completed several stages of Angry Birds, then decided to look around to find out where Aaron was. That's when I noticed the guy recording me, shot him the dirtiest look, and then basically fled the scene. By the time I'd made it to where Aaron was, the dude from the camcorder section was gone.

I'm going to Angry Birds your face!

And... situations like this, are probably why I hate going anywhere alone.

Monday, April 16, 2012

By The Way, You're an Immigrant

I find it laughable when someone thinks I do not belong in a place (in this country) because they don't find the color of my skin to be appropriate.

Need I remind you that you're all a bunch of immigrants? By compassion you're all new here, so you can kindly get bent. Being that, technically, my people were here first -- if anyone doesn't belong somewhere around here it's all of you.

So before you open your mouth, maybe you should just stfu with your dark versus light racism and your light versus dark racism and remember that neither of you even belong here to begin with; yet we accept your presence just fine (except when you say profoundly stupid shit).

Sincerely, Native America.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Golf Drinking Games

This sundae is bigger than my head!
For my birthday this year we had a small party Saturday and Sunday. We had plans for nine or more people, justifying rental of The Pope Room for dinner, but scheduling didn't pan out. So we wound up with four: Aaron, Josh, Sean, and me. Saturday evening we played a Magic The Gathering drinking game, where any time a creature was sent to the graveyard you had to drink. Sean probably drank the most, since he died early on, but he didn't drink all that much since he was defeated so quickly. Thanks to Spore Frog, I did not get very drunk.

Reign of Frogs held out well, and by held out I mean could've stomped through the world if I had more mana to start, but ultimately we all lost to being lobotomized by Aaron's deck. No library to draw from. Ho-hum. We also watched the strangest video ever. No really. It was very very strange.How strange? Cannot even begin trying to describe it.

Sunday morning we had a croissant feast followed by a trip downtown to eat at Shoki Ramen House. I'm not sure you can get better ramen without leaving the country. After lunch we headed over to Scandia to play miniature golf and arcade games. Naturally we had a miniature golf drinking game where any time you went over par you had to take a shot and anytime someone else hit under par they got to choose someone to take a shot. If someone got a hole in one, everyone else had to take a shot.

I was doing pretty good for the first four holes. But it was my birthday and therefor everyone chose me to drink when they hit under par. After that I kind of just stumbled from hole to hole playing worse and worse which meant I had to drink more and more. I decided rather than play the 18th hole, where you lose your ball, to pocket my ball and keep it as a souvenir.

At the end, I had the worst score and had to finish off both flasks.

We made it through eighteen holes of golf without getting caught and there at the very end a security guard managed to spawn on us like an agent from The Matrix and get me in trouble. He demanded Sean and I go put the flasks in the car, oblivious to the fact that by now they were both completely empty. Herp.

So we're headed through the building to go to the car and this security guard is following behind me like I'm some delinquent reminding me every three feet that I have to go put the flask in the car. The funny thing was, at this point I didn't even have the flask on me anymore, it was in Aaron's jacket pocket! I can only walk so fast. It got so irritating that at one point when the man's like, "GO PUT IT IN THE CAR." I turned around and was like, "YOU GO PUT IT IN THE CAR!" Immediately I regretted that however and followed it with an apologetic, "I'm going..."

Because seriously, I was going! While he was clearly capable of teleporting wherever he wished, I had to use my legs to travel. And legs are slow, especially when you are drunk. So off to the car Sean and I go, though I've nothing to put in the car because I don't even have the flask. Then we return tot he arcade and get our game on. We manage to make thirty-nine tickets despite several of the games being broken and not rewarding us. The woman behind the gift counter was nice though and let me get a Lick-a-Stick anyway.

Once we'd concluded our golfing adventure we returned home for a bit, played a little more Magic and then headed to Buca di Beppo's for dinner. Amazing food. For dessert we got the colossal sundae. It's as big as it sounds. It took all four of us to eat it. Stuffed and exhausted we returned home to be surprised by Washington Sean as well, who just so happened to be in town.

As for presents...
Aaron got me a fancy tablet -- the Intuos 5 Touch, which you can see in action on my deviant.
Sean gave me a rubber ducky tea infuser, because I love tea so good.
Josh forgot his gift but gave me delicious chocolate as a proxy.
And my grandfather sent me a bracelet and earrings to match the necklace he had given me for Christmas.

Much to my dismay, back East at my mother's house, my childhood dog Booka suffered a major stroke and died.  So while I had an amazing birthday, turns out it was also a really really sad day.