Saturday, January 30, 2010

Damn It

With you in that dress my thoughts, I confess, verge on dirty.
Ah, c'mon Eileen!

Damn that song. You hear me Dexy's Midnight Runners? Damn you too!

Toora loora, toora loo rye ay! DAMN IT.
Ahem, anyway...

Thursday, January 28, 2010


I was having a conversation earlier and this happened: 10 Songs That Remind You of Childhood. 

  • Hank Williams Jr., "Family Tradition"
  • Meatloaf, "I Would Do Anything for Love"
  • 4 Non blondes, "What's up?"
  • Madonna, "Vogue"
  • Tears for Fears, "Mad World"
  • Billy Joel, "Uptown Girl"
  • George Michael, "Faith"
  • Beck, "Loser"
  • Radiohead, "Creep"
  • Aerosmith, "Dude Looks Like a Lady"

Originally I was going to explain these to you, but I felt it may be more amusing to let you take from it what you will. Excellent passer of time!

Monday, January 25, 2010

The Power

While in California I was introduced to some super awesome tea with little sayings on the tags. It was really yummy tea. No need to add sugar or cream or even honey! When I returned to Ohio I had to deal with the fact that my tea was no where near as good.

Well, today my tea said something. I found it neat enough that it kind of made up for all of its other shortcomings.

It should be clarified that my tea does not normally have anything written on the tags. I've checked all the other bags in the box and they are blank. How profound.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Pudding Fail

The flu I had lead to a sinus infection, the source of this lingering headache. Thankfully my doctor wrote me a script for some antibiotics while I was there and I've been on them for a few days now. Aside from that, all is well.

The pills are pretty big so I can't feasibly swallow them. What happens is when I swallow anything solid, all goes well until it hits the top of the Oblivion Gate. Then it feels like I swallowed sharp glass and my body ceases to allow the object any further. I can only swallow extremely tiny pills whole and even then there's discomfort.

My first plan was to crush them up and stir them into some chocolate pudding to mask the taste. A tactic that usually works. Don't listen to Marry Poppins, a spoonful of sugar helps not at all.

I quickly learned however that this antibiotic is mighty gross. I managed to finish the pudding, because I had to, but it was not pleasant at all. I decided after that, that I would do it the hardcore way. By dissolving the pill in a small amount of hot water and then slamming it back like a shot. This tastes godawful but only for an instant. If you've never dissolved a pill before, it's pretty neat.

The bright cherry red shell on these bad boys demonstrates the process nicely. Similar steps take place inside your body after you swallow a pill, essentially I just skip that part and get straight to absorption. You have to be careful though, if you do this with a time-release pill you will overdose on whatever is inside. I always take extra care to ask my pharmacist if the pill can be chewed. It gets me some odd looks, but it's an answer I need to know.

I leave around February 18th for Florida. It's time at long last to reclaim all of my worldly possessions. And my cat. I will be driving down with "the family" instead of flying. That way I can check the truck personally and make sure everything is accounted for. I'll be gone for about a week, give or take a day. Why? Because my grandfather insists I enjoy myself and has tacked on a free vacation while I'm down there. Vacation fun will be had in Orlando, not Tampa. Just to clarify.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


Yes, as some of you have noticed I do have a Facebook now. I was advised to create an account before anyone created one claiming to be me. Which is pretty weird, but I suppose this is the internet. The only place a fat guy could possibly impersonate a young 20 something female with any amount of success. Last thing I want is to learn some loser is using my likeness to con people into sending him money through Paypal or something. Which has actually happened once before.

Yes, sometimes I take advice rather than give it. Zany I know!

My officially official facebook page is OfficialInari. How is that for official? What can you find there that you can't find here? Nothing. Well, maybe pictures. There are definitely more pictures there. Though you will notice that to access my super officially official facebook page you'll have to add me as a friend first.

Why? Because looking through a person's things over the internet every day without the intent to make actual human contact is a little strange. You gotta admit. I'd like to encourage healthier social interaction. You know, that actually involves a hint of humans talking to other humans.

Speaking of which, don't forget to post or PM me your haiku. Which is the plural of haiku, by the way. In case any of you were curious. Like the plural of Jedi is Jedi. Or the plural of moose is moose. The more you know!

Anyway. I have a doctor appointment tomorrow. I'm actually looking forward to it. I have been pretty miserable with zombie flu even though the worst is over. Like the headache that creeps upon me everyday at 7pm that lasts until I fall asleep. I've taken the allotted amount of Tylenol for a week and can take no more. I have this faint hope that my doctor may be able to help somehow. I'm not sure why. Probably something ingrained in my brain from childhood. When you're sick doctors make you better. Doctor magic. Duh.

It is scheduled bright and early, so you won't hear from me until I'm already home. I'll let you know if anything exciting happens. This is just a yearly check-up, so I'm not expecting any huge revelations or anything. Yes, I realize I've been to about a hundred doctor appointments in the last several months. Those were all for the specific issue of the Oblivion Gate in my stomach. This is just a general "well-being of Inari despite that" check-up. Unrelated to anything else.

Before I wrap this up I'd like to take a minute to mourn with Lena for the loss of the epic Mxtlpxr. Cat. Badass. Mint Monger. King of The Block. Everyone else should join us. He deserves it.

Monday, January 18, 2010

Zombie No More

So soon after talking about being home and online and back again I disappeared for a week. Fear not. I didn't leave you again, not so soon anyway. I caught the terrible Zombie Flu. As much as I would like to blame the act of grocery shopping, I probably picked it up in the viral laboratory that is the airport. I stand by that anyone who goes out into public knowingly sick, should be beaten with a live dolphin. Perhaps by a live dolphin as well.

I don't know where I got this image from.
All the more reason to remind you all to get vaccinated! I don't want any of you guys as sick as I was. While I at no time felt like I was on the brink of death, death at times certainly seemed like it would have been an improvement in the quality of life. And you know how much I love being alive.

I've been disinfecting myself before I touch anything and encouraging all those who have to come in contact with me for the next week to carry a travel sized bottle of Purell with them and make use of it too. Honestly, you don't want Zombie Flu. You may be considering it to get out of work or classes or a really creepy date, but trust me. Not worth it.

The idea that I could get the people I actually like sick makes me .
Don't make me .

While I'm still not 100%, I'm finally feeling well enough to get out of bed and do a few things. Which is great. I've also been able to actually sleep longer than fifteen minutes at a time. Great too. I uploaded a few sketches yesterday and am working on a few more. Making up for lost time I suppose.

Gobi Gaara has suffered along with me. While at the apex of illness I forgot to feed him for two days, and now that I am feeling a bit stronger I realize he's been due for a water change for at least five days. The poor guy. With any luck I'll manage that today. I can't take his big round eyes staring at me this way for long.

A lot of you have been really pressing me to play an MMO of some sort. I have been resistant for several reasons. The biggest being, I have no current inclination to play what's available. But that causes the second biggest. Because I have no inclination to play anything for the game itself, that means if I play something it'll be for the people playing it and none of you are playing the same frelling thing. Which is more or less making me choose between you.

So, I thought, maybe I'll make them all write haiku or something and who ever writes the best will dictate what game I play. Thoughts?

You may also notice that you cannot peruse this entry if you haven't logged in. That's because, for shits and giggles, I decided to invoke a little nerd rage in my internet stalker. This entry is readable to my friends only*. Though there is no sensitive "for your eyes only" information in this blog, I may do this from time to time.
*This is no longer the case.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Passing Time, Counting Days, Getting Stalked

I have a doctor appointment on the 21st. Nothing exciting or revealing, just getting stabbed full of nutrients and having a general check up. Then I have another appointment early in February some time, I'll have to check the date. It's basically just to go over the results of my sleep study and CAT scan. Where we go next will be determined by that appointment so it's a pretty big one. All in all, now that I am actually getting nutrients into my bloodstream, I'm feeling considerably better.

Gobi Gaara is doing well. Doesn't take food from my fingertips yet, but it's only a matter of time. He's more active now and doesn't freak out when I move by his tank to turn on the lamp, which is a good sign. Goldfish are pretty smart, as far as fish go. Google it!

I went shopping and bought all manner of sweets. I don't know why, not that I need a reason. I was just in one of those moods I guess. Chocolate glazed doughnuts, strawberry gummi puffs, icecream sammiches, and mandarin chocolate (which is orange gel covered in chocolate, not the delicious orange flavored chocolate I had in California last time).

Speaking of which! I'll be headed back to California this March, for a whole month of endless win. Putting that out there now so it doesn't sneak up on anyone unawares. Avoiding tragedy, you see. March-April = Inari in California doing interesting and oh so intriguing California things.

My grandfather keeps insisting on getting in touch with childhood friends Geoff and Georgie Stults to get my friends and I all access to a Red Carpet event. He doesn't really realize the distance between Hollywood and where I will be. Or how long it has been since I've seen Geoff and Georgie. I'll have to talk to him about that. As fun as hanging out with famous people is, we'll have to pass. I will be having enough fun as it is anyhow. Oh, so very much fun.

Besides, they'd make me wear a dress.

Until then it's, "get shit done and pass time" mode. Where I basically do whatever needs doing and try to occupy myself with things that will keep me busy. Some of you want me to resub an MMO, but, I honestly can't think of one I want to play right now. Have any convincing arguments? I will likely just do a lot of sketching, reading, Stargate, modding, and chit-chatting. Other gaming would be on that list too, if I get my belongings back anytime soon... Ahem.

That reminds me. It has been brought to my attention that I have an internet stalker. An e-stalker if you will. Or perhaps an iStalker? I don't know. Hello, Stalkerface McLace. Are you breathing heavily yet? I considered making everything here private, to circumvent said stalking. But, he would probably just make a fake profile and spam me with friend requests hoping I'll accept one so he can read this anyhow. Of course it is a he. I think I'll just save us both the hassle. Enjoy!

Friday, January 8, 2010

Crazy On A Plane

Captain's Log, 2010...

I will preface this with, "I don't mind flying." All in all, flying from point A to point B is convenient and usually uneventful. Like flying over Arizona was breath taking, or flying over Washington was exceedingly beautiful at dusk. The people in Colorado were so so nice and the security in California was hilarious. That said, it can also range from amusing to woeful. None of which spoiled my fun by any means, but I promised details, so here you have them!

Flight: Charlotte to Phoenix.

Case: Frat Boy
On my first class flight from Charlotte NC, to Phoenix AZ I was seated next to a frat boy. I guess to show off his class he kept downing glasses of champagne rather than beer or vodka tonics (both of which were available), then talking to me. I tried to sleep to avoid him but he kept waking me up. First for drinks, then for snacks, then for a meal, and again for cookies. While thoroughly entertained by his BMOC antics I was greatly relieved when I discovered through his overly talkative nature that he was not going to be on my connecting flight into L.A.

Case: Southern Pilot
The pilot on this flight was super Southern. Kept opening the cockpit to wander outside to flirt with the flight attendants and get coffee. I'd say he was up and walking about more than he was actually flying the damn plane. Which would have been really amusing and not concerning at all if not for...

Case: Crazy Crazy Guy
On this same flight there was a super crazy guy seated in coach. He started off worrying the people seated nearby him by openly sobbing before standing up and yelling incoherently at the plane. Finally he charged the cockpit. US Marshal? Not on our plane so it was up to the flight attendants to corner him in the back aisle and sedate him. Our plane was stuck in flight over Phoenix airport until this successfully happened.

Apparently you aren't allowed to land a plane with active crazy on board. You have to subdue the crazy first. Who'd have thought? At least the pilot stopped leaving the door open while he waltzed around the cabin for coffee. Unfortunately they also barred anyone else from standing up for the remainder of the flight when the crazy began. Which meant we were all confined to our seats with no restrooms for two and a half hours. I'm surprised more crazy didn't happen because of this.

Finally the flight attendants got him to take some pills or something and we were cleared to land. Several US marshals had congregated at our gate and rushed onto the plane to take away our crazy guy. I have no idea what happened to him after that. Interrogation I imagine. Though I am relieved no one was grievously injured, this fiasco almost caused...

Flight: Phoenix to Los Angeles

Case: Near Miss
Due to being stuck in the sky for an extra thirty minutes my seat was actually given away to standby passengers on my connecting flight to California. Meaning I would've been stranded in Arizona. Of all places -- a place where I know no one. Luckily I got there right as they were giving away the very very last seat on the plane and since I had a ticket, I got to snub all of the standbys competing for it and board my flight. I was literally 1 seat away from being stuck there.

Flight: Sacramento to Denver

Case: Hellspawn
All in all, I had gotten pretty lucky as far as the people sitting beside me on flights. This would make up for it. In comes daddy with child in hand. For some reason child is inserted to middle seat, between he and I rather than isle seat, beside just him. All I could think of was how well mannered my niece and nephews are and hope for the best.

No. This child was horribly mannered and knew nothing of discipline. He was standing in the seat, screaming, kicking the seat ahead of him, yelling at his dad, throwing things, at times he was in my lap, tugging on my sleeves, lounging on my arm, etc. At one point his father tried to make him put on his seat belt and be quiet and the kid hit him. You read that right. The three year old boy hit his father. Mind boggling part? The father just took it. Didn't even yell at him. The parent was being bullied by a fucking three year old. Seriously?

With as much as I have flown, I have never encountered a legitimately annoying kid on a plane. Sure people complain about babies crying on planes, but c'mon. It's a baby on a plane. They don't know what the hell is going on. This was different. I considered spiking his drink but spiked my own instead. Less legal ramifications that way.

Flight: Denver to Akron

Case: Delayed Delay of Delaying (+5 to delays)
Denver was snowy and cold. As to be expected of Colorado in January. Our flight was delayed due to the weather. Delayed again after we all boarded waiting in line to be de-iced. Then delayed a third time waiting in line to take-off. This totaled an added hour spent on the ground.

By the time we were cleared for take-off we had to be de-iced again...

What was I thinking?
All of this put my scheduled landing at 11:45pm into Akron on the 6th at 1:40am on the 7th. We were so delayed the Akron airport actually thought our flight had been canceled at one point so when we landed, a bunch of people had no rides home and were stuck there. Thankfully I wasn't one of those.

Case: Where In The World is Chris Hansen
There was a man and girl on the plane, which I thought was kind of sweet. Like a loving father had brought his daughter to Denver for the holidays or something nice. But no. It was a 45 year old man and his 15 year old girlfriend. It was amazingly the creepiest display of affection I've ever seen first hand.

Case: Frozen Throne
There was no heat on this plane. Had it been packed full of people, it would have been tolerable due to all of the combined body heat. However, it was not packed full of people. There were less than twenty people on the plane, including pilot, co-pilot and attendants. I shivered all the way to Ohio. I had never been so thankful for my scarf, though I could've used several more pairs of socks and a blanket.

Case: Drunken Molester
Because there were so few people on the plane, the attendants let everyone sit wherever they wanted. I chose a secluded spot at the front of the plane away from the sniffly masses. Naturally I was a little off-put when some middle aged dude decided of hundreds of open seats, to sit riiiiight beside mine. Even more off-put when I realized he stunk of booze. Somehow managed to be even further off-put when he decided to molest my arm, shoulder, or knee every time he spoke to me.

Thankfully Hobo McDrunkerson managed to pass out early on and I made an escape.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

3000 Miles

I am returned. Safe and sound back in Ohio, on the internets. I had a fantastic time in California. I can think of no better way to have brought in the New Year, nor better company to have welcomed it with. None. It was great.

I didn't get many pictures, but that's mostly because I was too busy having a blast to bother even remembering I had a cellphone. You'll just have to take my word on all of the awesome.

I have exciting things to tell you about traveling. Like the crazy guy, the drunken molester, the hellspawn, and the delayed delay of delaying. These things will have to wait until morning though. I am too tired to go into details tonight.