Sunday, October 30, 2011

Varying Degrees of Surprise

Between almost clocking Aaron in the face with a frying pan and Rose sending me an unexpected gift; Saturday was full of surprises. You're probably wanting me to explain why I almost bludgeoned my fiancee to death with a cooking utensil, but I'll get to that later. I'm doing things my way And my way involves addressing Rose first. Nothing you can do about it.

So we're all cozy on the sofa watching episodes of Torchwood on Netflix when there's a knock at the door. Neither Aaron nor myself had ordered anything, I was fairly sure, and the package my mom had sent from back East arrived on Thursday. So I was really curious as to who could be out there. I suspected it was another Mormon. They go door-to-door out here like Jehovah's Witnesses, which I thought was weird but apparently it's common place to the natives.

As an aside, I like to think that mentioning things like The Doctor and Torchwood will cause the FBI or the CIA to show up. :3

Anyway, so Aaron gets up and opens the door and lo' and behold: it's a package! For me. Wait. What? It's clearly not from Aaron and both my mother and my grandfather are on a cruise in the middle of the ocean... Therefor it's obviously not their doing either. Who is it from? Rose. A friend of mine who used to live here before I did, but then moved East around the same exact time that I moved West. Inside is a lovely set of jewelry in shades of orange, yellow, and bronze. Anyone who knows anything knows I adore the color orange, so I was understandably happy about this.

And confused.
Not until several hours later would I even pause to consider that I hadn't given Rose my address. So I turn to Aaron, who at this point is sitting at his desk behind mine playing Might & Magic: Heroes VI, and just as I'm about to accuse Rose of being related to David Blaine he reads my expression (or maybe my mind) and tells me he'd sneakily given it to her. NINJAS!

So yeah, cool surprise from 2000 miles away.

Now as to why I almost beat my fiance to death: it was self defense! Or rather, ill-conceived self defense. He was in the shower, or so I thought, and I was peacefully washing dishes. After about ten minutes or so of this, out of the corner of my eye I see movement! From the general area of the front door! My mind immediately places Aaron as 'in the shower' and perceives the movement as some sort of outside threat. An intruder!

Hide yo' kids. Hide yo' wife.

I turn to look my assailant in the eye, unlike most girls whose reaction is to tightly shut their eyes and swing blindly in the general direction of their attacker. Lucky for fiancee. Recognition took place half an instant before I struck him in the face with a soapy frying pan. Only thing worse than a face full of hard metal? Probably a face full of hard metal AND soap in your eyes.

It doesn't end there. Later we would be surprised again. We had set up an impromptu Halloween party late in the week at our place, since scheduling conflicts prevented anything being set into motion sooner. We weren't sure if anyone would be coming or not, honestly, because all of the invites were accepted tentatively. Participation depending on previous plans, work, school, and family obligations. So at around 7:00 PM we decided to just settle down with some homemade spaghetti, a bottle of red wine, and watch something.

Sometime after 8:00 PM there was a loud and unexpected POUNDING at our door. We were mutually startled! Aaron lept up from the sofa, rushed to the door and locked it. Just in case. Looking through the peep hole revealed none other than our pals Josh and Emil outside. Laughing at our fright. Incidentally, due to earlier circumstance, the pounding at the door was twice as concerning than it would have been normally.

Normally we would have just attributed it to a cranky neighbor, coming to complain about noise or something. Not that we were making noise, and not that people complain often. But this had happened once before. Aaron and I were both quietly reading and our neighbor started pounding to tell us to keep it down. So it wouldn't be far-fetched for them to think actual sound was too loud.

Instead, due to a mysteriously circling police helicopter earlier our minds reacted as follows:
Aaron's mind -- there's an escaped convict trying to bust down our door!
My mind -- the police are about to raid our apartment thinking we're harboring a fugitive!

Not sure why our trains of thought were so different, yet related. My being more fearful of the police than an escaped murderer is probably indicative of something...


The night after this point was mostly just entertaining tomfoolery, pumpkin beer, and delicious raspberry tart. We never actually got around to our Horror Movie Marathon, but that's okay. Youtube proved funny enough.

Tomorrow we plan to open our door to trick-or-treaters with a bowl full of fruit just to mess with them. Those who stick around will get actual candy. We bought something like five bags of the stuff. Not the cheap kind, either. Tasty, tasty chocolate. We were going to scare the crap out of them by opening the door to me crab-walking at them like some terrible creature from a Japanese horror film, but I guess at some point I hurt my shoulder. No crab-walking for me.

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