Monday, October 24, 2011

Dear Creepy Person

To whom it may concern,

Whoever is out there Google searching my full name in quotations to exclude all other possible results: please stop. It is creepy and it is weird. You do not want to look like an obsessive stalky stalkerton, do you? Because that is how you look right now. Nobody likes a stalker. Not even stalkers like stalkers. If your own peers find you repulsive, perhaps that should tell you something.

Blogspot keeps me informed about what search words bring traffic to my blog. Thus, I know you're out there, somewhere, being a creeper. You can't hide that. So you should just stop it.

All of my friends and family have access to this blog by default, so I know it isn't any of them relying on Google to track me down -- and strangers are unlikely to use my exact name in quotations to find this blog. They stumble in after searching for things like, "cersei lanister blond hair black eyebrows" or "hartz ultra guard." So the obvious conclusion here would be that you are someone who knows me but I do not like enough (or at all) to have linked you personally. In which case, you're twice as creepy and weird because you know I do not like you and yet, here you are reading all about my personal life like a psycho.

If that is your intent, then good job. You're a success at being a psycho!

Inari Holmes

P.S. Yes, I also know you tried to Google search my full name plus the state I used to live in to find me before relying on quotations to narrow down your stalking. Congratulations on earning double creeper points.

P.P.S. I'm fine with actual strangers stumbling upon my blog through whatever means. /hi5 to people who don't know me but enjoy my writing.


  1. I never knew you could see what brought people to your blog that's neat

  2. Sure can! It's one of my favorite features and why I prefer Blogspot over its competitors.

  3. O.o Inari, I found your blog through facebook! Am I a creeper?

    - Kim

  4. No. I post it there for all to see!