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| (b)raaaaaaai(s)ins! |
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| Why is this happening to me?! |
Monday, September 26, 2011
Raisinari
I don't mean to alarm you or anything, but I think I'm turning into a raisin. After a long morning spent avoiding my responsibilities, I got into the shower. You think, nothing abnormal there, right? You're wrong. Before I even had a chance to get wet yet, I look down and my fingers looked like this:
Which meant that when Aaron turned around from washing his face he was met with this:
Only I was naked (and not in the computer room). He couldn't take my dire concern seriously at all as result and seemed more entertained than worried. He then went back to washing his hair. I bet he will take me more seriously when he wakes up tomorrow finding I had transformed into a pile of raisins in the night. How can you marry a pile of raisins? I don't think that's legal.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Honey & Steam
It's not often that I write about things you should buy, own, or take part in, but there are some things that could drastically improve your quality of life if only you had access to them. So you should take me seriously when I recommend things!
As I'm sure you're well aware by now, I love honey. I'm something of a honey connoisseur. I can tell the difference between honey made from different flowers entirely by taste alone, and if you are not lucky enough to keep your own bees, I can definitely point you in the direction of quality honey. Which brings me to the first item of recommendation: Trader Joe's Clover Blossom Honey.
Clover honey is perhaps my favorite honey. It is simple and sweet and can be used in a variety of ways. I've tried a lot of clover honey in my day and by far the sweetest has been Trader Joe's. Which is a good thing, assuming you plan on using the honey to sweeten something. Which is like 99% of the time you'd be using honey in the first place. It means that you need to use less honey to reach the desired result.
As an aside, honey must always come in bear-bottle form. If you are at the market and you find yourself presented with the options: regular bottle or bear-shaped, the choice is obvious. Don't muck it up.
The second thing I'm going to tell you about is Steam. It is a free gaming program that allows you to download games legally (read: at a price), connect with your friends, and even allows you to buy games and give them to other users as a gift. Why is this program worth mentioning? Because it doesn't exclusively offer to sell you new titles. Many of its games are old, beloved classics. Like Sonic The Hedgehog or Shining Force. So while, sure, you could download Call of Duty 26, you can also download Kid Chameleon.
The gift-giving feature is also really useful. Forget to buy your friend/sibling a gift for (insert gift-giving holiday here)? You can instantly bestow upon them a video game! Problem solved. No pesky shipping to pay for or deal with.
I realize that many of you already have Steam, but you would truly be amazed by how many of your peers do not!
P.S. You can find me on Steam under the handle: Morally_Gray
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| Yes, we have a power juicer. |
Clover honey is perhaps my favorite honey. It is simple and sweet and can be used in a variety of ways. I've tried a lot of clover honey in my day and by far the sweetest has been Trader Joe's. Which is a good thing, assuming you plan on using the honey to sweeten something. Which is like 99% of the time you'd be using honey in the first place. It means that you need to use less honey to reach the desired result.
As an aside, honey must always come in bear-bottle form. If you are at the market and you find yourself presented with the options: regular bottle or bear-shaped, the choice is obvious. Don't muck it up.
The second thing I'm going to tell you about is Steam. It is a free gaming program that allows you to download games legally (read: at a price), connect with your friends, and even allows you to buy games and give them to other users as a gift. Why is this program worth mentioning? Because it doesn't exclusively offer to sell you new titles. Many of its games are old, beloved classics. Like Sonic The Hedgehog or Shining Force. So while, sure, you could download Call of Duty 26, you can also download Kid Chameleon.
The gift-giving feature is also really useful. Forget to buy your friend/sibling a gift for (insert gift-giving holiday here)? You can instantly bestow upon them a video game! Problem solved. No pesky shipping to pay for or deal with.
I realize that many of you already have Steam, but you would truly be amazed by how many of your peers do not!
P.S. You can find me on Steam under the handle: Morally_Gray
Friday, September 23, 2011
This is A Public Service Announcement
Here I am going to explain to you step-by-step how to not spam the every-loving crap out of your fellow Facebook denizens. Not to be rude or anything, but I'm going to explain this like you're a five year old.
Follow the pictures in order of appearance and click where the red circles are.
Starting out: Go to your wall.
Note: Your wall will look different than my wall. This is my wall.
Note: Your wall will look different than my wall. This is my wall.
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| Step 1 |
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| Step 2 |
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| Step 3 |
Name the new list whatever the name of your game happens to be.
For this example, I called mine Cafe World.
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| Step 4 |
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| Step 5 |
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| Step 6 |
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| Step 7 |
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| Step 8 |
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| Step 9 |
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| Step 10 |
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| The final step! |
You now win at Facebook!
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Growing Up
When you are a child friendship comes easily. You befriend others around you based on nothing other than the fact that they live nearby and happen to be in the same age group that you are. If you are lucky, they're also not annoying as fuck, but even if they are you befriend them anyway. You're easy to please. "I like dinosaurs," is widely accepted as a valid basis by which to establish a bond. You can pretty much replace dinosaurs with any other word you can imagine, such as dogs or rocks, and the argument would stand just as strong.
Then as we start growing up, usually around sixth grade or so, you start to notice things you had never noticed before. Your BFF likes blue rather than red. How had you never noticed this before? And it gets worse. You find out they like all sorts of things that you don't! Such as troll dolls. Or maybe they like Zack more than they like Slater. Suddenly your entire friendship is flipped upside down. Nothing makes sense anymore, but you hold on for dear life. You try liking those things too, it's your obligation as a good friend.
Eventually you just can't keep up. They go too far. You find out one day they like something you simply abhor the very existence of, like Hansen, and suddenly your BFF is hanging out with some other kid who loves Hansen too. You're left out.
Your friendship isn't over, however. No. Both of you for whatever forsaken reason refuse to let go. You don't hang out as much as you used to, and this results in the gap between what you like and what they like growing steadily wider. As your influence wanes the tension to somehow force your friendship to overcome these many tiny differences of opinion builds. Then there is a catalyst. Maybe it's that girl you find completely intolerable that your BFF has been hanging out with at lunch, or maybe it's a boy who appeared from no where and takes up all of her time. Whatever it is, it causes an EXPLOSION! The likes of which your friendship cannot survive.
You make a remark about this catalyst and your friend disagrees so completely that you can feel the resentment in their voice. It has become some tangible thing in the room with you. This is it. The true turning point. The point of no return. The situation elevates beyond control because neither of you are emotionally equipped to handle this sort of thing yet.
You tell your friend that you hate her. She says she hates you times infinity. It's over. At long last. While hurt, you are also somehow strangely relieved. At least you don't have to pretend to like her troll dolls anymore. You both move on to new circles of friends and lose touch. When people ask you down the line why you two aren't friends anymore, both of you will always say, "She changed." And that resentment will manifest itself again.
So what happened? Nothing. You did not change and neither did she. The two of you have always had different opinions, you just never felt the need to express them. You were too busy pretending to command spaceships and catch fairies in a butterfly net.
Think back to why you became friends in the first place. The answer is likely either, "She lived down the street," or, "We were in the same class." Your entire friendship was based on convenience. You shouldn't be so surprised things didn't work out. Of course your friendship fell through, you had nothing in common to begin with aside from age and perhaps a fondness for chocolate milk.
Also? You should probably get around to slaying that resentment monster. It was never warranted in the first place.
Disclaimer: This is written in the female perspective but easily applicable to both genders. If you have outdoor plumbing simply substitute all instances of she and her with he and his. Also, depending on orientation you may need to substitute Zack and Slater with Kelly and Jessie.
Then as we start growing up, usually around sixth grade or so, you start to notice things you had never noticed before. Your BFF likes blue rather than red. How had you never noticed this before? And it gets worse. You find out they like all sorts of things that you don't! Such as troll dolls. Or maybe they like Zack more than they like Slater. Suddenly your entire friendship is flipped upside down. Nothing makes sense anymore, but you hold on for dear life. You try liking those things too, it's your obligation as a good friend.
Eventually you just can't keep up. They go too far. You find out one day they like something you simply abhor the very existence of, like Hansen, and suddenly your BFF is hanging out with some other kid who loves Hansen too. You're left out.
Your friendship isn't over, however. No. Both of you for whatever forsaken reason refuse to let go. You don't hang out as much as you used to, and this results in the gap between what you like and what they like growing steadily wider. As your influence wanes the tension to somehow force your friendship to overcome these many tiny differences of opinion builds. Then there is a catalyst. Maybe it's that girl you find completely intolerable that your BFF has been hanging out with at lunch, or maybe it's a boy who appeared from no where and takes up all of her time. Whatever it is, it causes an EXPLOSION! The likes of which your friendship cannot survive.
You make a remark about this catalyst and your friend disagrees so completely that you can feel the resentment in their voice. It has become some tangible thing in the room with you. This is it. The true turning point. The point of no return. The situation elevates beyond control because neither of you are emotionally equipped to handle this sort of thing yet.
You tell your friend that you hate her. She says she hates you times infinity. It's over. At long last. While hurt, you are also somehow strangely relieved. At least you don't have to pretend to like her troll dolls anymore. You both move on to new circles of friends and lose touch. When people ask you down the line why you two aren't friends anymore, both of you will always say, "She changed." And that resentment will manifest itself again.
So what happened? Nothing. You did not change and neither did she. The two of you have always had different opinions, you just never felt the need to express them. You were too busy pretending to command spaceships and catch fairies in a butterfly net.
Think back to why you became friends in the first place. The answer is likely either, "She lived down the street," or, "We were in the same class." Your entire friendship was based on convenience. You shouldn't be so surprised things didn't work out. Of course your friendship fell through, you had nothing in common to begin with aside from age and perhaps a fondness for chocolate milk.
Also? You should probably get around to slaying that resentment monster. It was never warranted in the first place.
Disclaimer: This is written in the female perspective but easily applicable to both genders. If you have outdoor plumbing simply substitute all instances of she and her with he and his. Also, depending on orientation you may need to substitute Zack and Slater with Kelly and Jessie.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Raised By Wolves
People often talk about all of their favorite TV shows growing up, but I can't really relate. I only watched television up until I was old enough to go outside by myself. Even then I only watched original Star Trek, Battlestar Galactica and The Twilight Zone. Shows most kids hadn't even heard of yet. Unless of course it was the weekend, in which case I watched morning cartoons like any normal child.
But once I was allowed to go outside on my own (read: without adult supervision) that pretty much ended my relationship with TV. I spent, quite literally, every waking moment outside. To the point where my poor mother would have to hand me my meals from the doorway because I refused to go inside and eat at the dining table. I'd take whatever hand-held food she offered and immediately run back off into the wilderness like some sort of child raised by wolves or something.
At first, I only came in to sleep. However after a week without a bath, I realized going to school looking like a dirty hobo would damage my reputation. Having crazy hair and dirt on your face meant you sat alone at lunch because the other kids didn't know what to make of you. Luckily I was also a clever child and this only lasted a week. I saw the error of my ways and decided to go indoors to sleep and bathe. This cleared up any hesitation I met from my peers.
I had nothing against our house. In fact it was easily the coolest house on the block. A historical Victorian era two story with a spooky basement and doors you unlocked with a skeleton key. All in all, it was a pretty magical house to grow up in.
I just didn't have time for all that mundane bullshit. I was too busy traveling the universe (city) in my spaceship (bicycle) which also served as a time machine. Sometimes my spaceship was also a chocobo. I can't explain the science behind that one, you wouldn't understand.
This sort of behavior lasted all the way up to seventh grade. Normally kids who cling so dearly to their imagination at that age wind up cast into unpopularity. Only I wasn't alone. I had stirred the embers of every child's imagination within eight city blocks, none of us were in a rush to grow up. This permitted us to have fantastic adventures which spanned months, and nobody was exempt. In my world you could be whoever or whatever you wanted to be, and that was somehow fine. In fact, encouraged.
I wonder how long after I moved away all those people held onto their imaginations?
But once I was allowed to go outside on my own (read: without adult supervision) that pretty much ended my relationship with TV. I spent, quite literally, every waking moment outside. To the point where my poor mother would have to hand me my meals from the doorway because I refused to go inside and eat at the dining table. I'd take whatever hand-held food she offered and immediately run back off into the wilderness like some sort of child raised by wolves or something.
At first, I only came in to sleep. However after a week without a bath, I realized going to school looking like a dirty hobo would damage my reputation. Having crazy hair and dirt on your face meant you sat alone at lunch because the other kids didn't know what to make of you. Luckily I was also a clever child and this only lasted a week. I saw the error of my ways and decided to go indoors to sleep and bathe. This cleared up any hesitation I met from my peers.
I had nothing against our house. In fact it was easily the coolest house on the block. A historical Victorian era two story with a spooky basement and doors you unlocked with a skeleton key. All in all, it was a pretty magical house to grow up in.
I just didn't have time for all that mundane bullshit. I was too busy traveling the universe (city) in my spaceship (bicycle) which also served as a time machine. Sometimes my spaceship was also a chocobo. I can't explain the science behind that one, you wouldn't understand.
This sort of behavior lasted all the way up to seventh grade. Normally kids who cling so dearly to their imagination at that age wind up cast into unpopularity. Only I wasn't alone. I had stirred the embers of every child's imagination within eight city blocks, none of us were in a rush to grow up. This permitted us to have fantastic adventures which spanned months, and nobody was exempt. In my world you could be whoever or whatever you wanted to be, and that was somehow fine. In fact, encouraged.
I wonder how long after I moved away all those people held onto their imaginations?
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
The Password Is... Eyebrows
So blogger has a nifty little feature which allows you to track various statistics involving your blog. Such as how many viewers you've had, what country your viewers visit from, and the most common search keywords that lead people to your blog.
I apparently have a large following in Malaysia and Germany. So, hello Malaysians! Hello Germans!
The most used search term that brings new readers to my blog is, "cersei lannister blonde hair black eyebrows." I'm not sure how I should feel about that. I guess it is at least a little comforting to know that obviously it's been bothering other people and not just me. It's still a little strange though.
Of all the things.
P.S. Russia just pulled ahead of Germany. Sorry Germans. Hello Russia!
I apparently have a large following in Malaysia and Germany. So, hello Malaysians! Hello Germans!
The most used search term that brings new readers to my blog is, "cersei lannister blonde hair black eyebrows." I'm not sure how I should feel about that. I guess it is at least a little comforting to know that obviously it's been bothering other people and not just me. It's still a little strange though.
Of all the things.
P.S. Russia just pulled ahead of Germany. Sorry Germans. Hello Russia!
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