Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Don't Apologize If You're An Ass

So here's the thing, when you do something wrong whether on purpose or not you are supposed to apologize. Forget to put down the toilet seat so your wife almost falls in? Say you're sorry. Talking so boisterously you accidentally wake someone up? Say you're sorry. Hurt someone's feelings? Say you're sorry.

However I have noticed something lately: repeat offenders. People who repeatedly do something, or a bunch of somethings, say they are sorry, only to then do it again. Over and over. If you were truly sorry, you'd stop doing it. Period. It's that simple.

I'm not talking about when Aaron goes to get Mexican food only to forget to order no onions in my burrito because they make the baby fussy. That's an easy oversight because he knows I love onions and normally would eat them every time. I mean when someone does something that is not quite so accidental.

For example, when someone repeatedly leaves the toilet seat up. It takes only a second to flip it down again and it displays a complete lack of consideration. You, as a man, only need the seat up some of the time. The lady of the house needs it down all of the time. Therefor keeping it down is more practical than keeping it up. You supposedly care about each other, you should want to make each other's lives easier.

Leaving it up habitually kind of proves that you don't give a single fuck. Every now and then she's liable to just put it back down herself and not even bring it up. Do it constantly and she's going to nag you about it because it blatantly shows you don't care enough about her comfort to take the time after you've finished pissing to put it down again. Your football game, video games, or beer with a pal can wait a single second longer. Put the lid down.

Where it gets even worse is if you habitually don't put the lid down but apologize every single time she confronts you about it, then do it again the very next time you have to pee. She's probably going to kill you in your sleep at this point. Because not only are you being inconsiderate every day, you're also basically lying to her every day. If you never plan to put the lid down, you may as well save everyone some grief and just say that plainly. At least then she'll know to expect it down and can make the judgment call whether or not she can deal with your man-boy behavior long term.

Now, after that example I should make it clear that I am not subtlety telling Aaron to keep the lid down. He's always been pretty good about that sort of thing. The inspiration for this blog actually came to me after talking to a friend and then thinking about my mother's husband. He's the sort of guy who will go out of his way to make a joke at your expense, apologize, then immediately do it again. Also known as an asshole.

Here's the situation with my friend, keeping it vague because while they are kind of douchey -- I'm not. Every day they do something they know not only bothers me but literally makes my day-to-day life harder. I've spoken to them about it directly. Yet every day they do it again. When I bring it up, they say they're sorry but sure enough, come tomorrow they'll have done it again. It's irresponsible, it's rude, it's inconsiderate, and really... it's basically passive aggression. Like they've finally found some manner of messing with me and they're going to try to covertly take full advantage. Only they're about as sly as a retarded giraffe.

Normally I'd just cut this sort of person out of my life so I didn't have to deal with their emo attention whoring, but I cannot do that here. Even if I told them to sit on it and spin, they're still mutually acquainted with other people I actually like. So there would inevitably be drama, resentment, and they'll STILL be a part of my daily life anyway. Ugh.

So yeah, if you aren't sorry -- don't say you are. If by some mental defect you are sorry but plan to do it again anyway, don't bother apologizing as it smacks of insincerity and makes people want to hit you in the face. I assume you like your face.

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