Road Trip

Leaving for the weekend, we're all going on a road trip. A road trip - a road trip - a road trip - a road trip - a road trip - a road trip - a road trip - a road trip... Ms. O'Mailey is gonna be there too. Ms. Bradley, she drives the van.

I may take my laptop with me for some late night onlineness, but don't hold your breath. Last thing I want to return to is anyone blue-faced from lack of oxygen. Don't die!

orly

My feets can't tell the difference between sharp and soft. It's not the pasta! How's that for curious?

Moar tests June 1st & June 2nd. Verdict is still out on cutting me open. I may be in Ohio for quite a while longer than planned.

No Sleep for The Sleepy

Today begins with a dentist appointment. Though, I guess begins is a bad way of putting it since I've been up all night. Nothing important, my teeth are always totally dapper. It'll just be an exam/cleaning and my dentist hassling me about how much sugar I eat and how much coffee I drink despite the fact that my teeth are always fine. In fact, I dare say they've got it backwards and my abnormal sugar intake is what makes my teefs so fantastic!

I feel compelled to annoy my dentist as much as a dentist tends to annoy you groping around in your mouth. I did it once a few years ago. Brushed my teeth, got all ready to head out and then decided to eat a handful of Cheetos just to spite him. Don't get me wrong, he's a great dentist, that's why I see him here instead of well, anyone else elsewhere. But no one likes someone else's hands in their mouth.

Conversation was priceless, "Did you eat Cheetos before coming?"
I manage, despite his hands in my mouth, "Yush."
The dentist blinks a time or two behind his Dr. Green glasses, "You knew you had a dentist appointment?"
I grin as much as I can, "Yush."
He blinks again, "Alright..."
He was not as entertained as I was.

Then I have a few hours of nothing to do since it's maintenance day for Warcraft and all of my consoles/movies are in Florida and all the humans I know will be at some form of work. I could sketch, but I feel as though I am tempting a dangerous fate sketching. My pen is almost out of ink so the only way to ensure any flow at all is to heat that beast up. Pretty soon there is going to be a horrible explosion of plastic, metal tips, and ink and I'll be the unfortunate victim.

At five I have another doctor's appointment. Basically the same thing they've done to my hands, on my feet. I know, I'm so stoked. And by "stoked" I mean "full of dread." Then, since it's been about a week, I'll be able to schedule the doctor's appointment to get the verdict on my zombie hands. With any luck they'll just tell me on the phone and not make me come in to hear about it. I swear they try to lure me into the office far too often. They get the same amount of money either way, they may as well save us all a little time.

Brainsssss...

P.S. Did I mention my dentist hums while he works? It's fantastic. Doo doo dodo doo doo~

Most Obnoxious Hour of My Life

So I went for my super not awesome tests this morning and can confirm they were in fact super not awesome.

In fact I may be so bold as to say that was the single most obnoxious hour of my entire life. Beating out trying to watch movies with Brook, going to dinner with Sarah, talking with paladins in Silvermoon, and Mister Boresaw's 7th grade Social Studies. What can you expect from a 70 year old man with the last name Boresaw anyway?

The topical test was akin to repeatedly banging your funny bone. That's what it felt like. The woman who administered this test had obviously never undergone it herself because she told me it would feel kind of like a very light static shock. No. No, it did not feel like a very light static shock. It felt like you were hammering my funny bone, lady.

She had to keep putting hot packs onto my hands to warm them during the test. I tried to tell her when I arrived and she had me soak my hands in hot water because, "it's cold outside." That my hands are always cold, even when it's 90 degrees outside, but naturally she had to be proven wrong the hard way. Skeptics.

I was relieved when it was over only for the cart with several long sterile needles to be wheeled out. I was ready to get it done and over with, only for the woman to inform me that, "It's only 8:00am, doctor Wiess doesn't arrive until 8:15am. Feel free to relax while you wait."

Oh yes, feel free to relax while staring at a tray of sharp pointed objects you know you're going to be stabbed AND electrocuted with while wearing naught but a skimpy medical gown. That sounds easy. Maybe I am just cranky from lack of sleep and low blood sugar from not being able to eat past midnight... but I doubt it.

The doctor arrives, late as expected, and is a man who by all looks of things is in the wrong field. He looks like every male psychiatrist you have ever seen on film. I swear it. But here he is, a neurologist. He must've been trying to prove a point. He spoke like he was afraid he would scare me away, which meant I could barely hear him and was trying to read his lips through his mustache.

I don't think I need to bother going into detail about the intramuscular EMG. I explained the joys of that in my last post and quite frankly it was every bit as miserable as had been anticipated. Add in the pleasure of bleeding like a faucet.

Now we play the waiting game.

OMG Zombies

Or Swine Flu, whichever.

Due to the Swine Flu Zombie Outbreak Epidemic I'm not supposed to get on any airplanes. This means I'm stranded in Ohio a while longer. This also means I have more time for childish shenanigans and to visit everyone. That's some super awesome.

What's not super awesome is nerve conduction tests. In fact those are super not-awesome. This will include an intramuscular EMG. I don't know why doctors bother explaining to you what torture they're going to inflict. I'd rather be oblivious but apparently they are going to sick needles into my muscles and measure the electrical currencies at rest and at activity. Then they're going to pull out a few centimeters and do it again, then again about 10 or 20 times. I don't know about you but that sounds super lame, not awesome.

That's the 11th, then I get to wait and find out if they need to surgically try to fix something, which according to my doctor is a high probability.

Maybe they will postpone surgery due to fear of zombies?

So I Had This Dream

I have a lot of cool dreams, but some just have to be shared. Like this one in all it's oddness!

For one reason or another, Brook and I were driving around in the city I was born in, which is strange enough since I haven't been there in over 10 years but it gets better! We're driving around and we get stopped because the guy in the car ahead of us is talking out the window to two young ladies on bikes. Holding up traffic. One of the girls starts to ride away, and Brook gets out of our truck to talk to her.

I'm still sitting in the vehicle for a while longer and then I get out and go to the girl talking to the person in the car ahead of us. I ask her if I can have her bike, to which nods and gets off handing it over to me. She gets into the car with the guy she was talking to, and then Brook asks if he can have the other girl's bike and she gives him hers. So now we are riding bikes around the city I was born in.

We're chatting casually as we ride along, when all of a sudden, for no real reason I could figure out -- I fell off my bike. In my mind I remember thinking, "No big deal, just a bit of pavement burn." But apparently in the dream I had broken my elbow. Brook helps me up and decides we must make haste to the nearest store to tend to my wounds, leaving our bikes behind to walk.

As we are walking, I run into my older sister. Brook goes ahead of us like some sort of scout and we walk on together. She doesn't seem concerned at all that I'm injured, or find it odd that we both happen to be in the city neither of us have been in for some many years. We walk on a sidewalk laced with apple trees on either side. High in them Lady Bugs are waking from their winter slumber.

The Lady Bugs open their shells as if to fly away, only instead a bunch of tiny Lady Bugs tumble out with parachutes. I guess the tiny ones couldn't fly yet? I have no idea. One got in my mouth though, and I remember feeling it wiggle it's tiny bug feet against my cheek as I tried not to squish it and get it out. It is seemingly harder than it sounds and it takes me some time.

We get to a gas station and my mom is there, like she had super maternal spidey senses or something, and I wait as she and Brook look frantically around the store for something to tend to my injuries with. I don't know what exactly they were looking for, but the store didn't seem to have it. At one point my mother confronts the guy behind he counter for answers, but he doesn't speak any English.

It was ridiculously hot inside the gas station despite only being early Spring, so we leave to try elsewhere. Then I woke up.

So, About Tomorrow