T-O-A-S-T

Despite popular opinion about toast, it is easily one of my favorite breakfast foods. Done just right with a pat of butter and a spoonful of honey -- all sweet and sticky? Mm, delicious. Problem is the "done just right" part of that. It's no easy task. Toasters seem to have two settings: brittle charcoal and warm dough. There is no happy medium unless you babysit the toaster. And who has time for that in the morning?

What? Why?

I either have to toast it several times on the low setting to get an agreeably golden-brown piece of toast, or I get too impatient and wind up with charcoal for daring to use the higher setting. Setting the dial anywhere in between the two results in an indeterminate result. Either charcoal or warm dough, you won't know until you come back into the kitchen. Like toast roulette!

Which presents two questions. The first? Who wants a charcoal option on their toaster to begin with? The only thing that fits inside is toast (and Poptarts if you're fat), so it's not as if you need a higher setting to bake things. Such as with a toaster oven. The second? Who insisted on the warm dough option? Ew.

MEDIUM SHOULD BE THE ONLY SETTING IN THE FIRST PLACE.