Dear Cheese Grater,
You are obtuse and awkward to use. There simply has got to be a better way. When I want freshly grated Parm for my pasta, I should not have to exert so much effort and time. I burn all of the calories I am about to consume by spending ten minutes mindlessly dragging cheese, back and forth, over you. This practically voids the entire eating process that is to follow. Can we somehow work this out?