Saturday, June 23, 2012

Hiatal Insomnia

Anyone who's been reading this blog long enough knows that, amongst other things, I suffer from a Hiatal Hernia. Essentially my stomach moves up and down through my diaphragm like a spry Olympic gymnast competing for the gold. Or something. Which is, extremely uncomfortable. It doesn't move all of the time, just sometimes, but the distribution is never quite right. There's always some stomach resting above the diaphragm where it should not be. Like so:

Grey's gd Anatomy right there.

Even when my stomach is holding still, I still experience discomfort in the form of nagging nausea and heart burn. I'm currently on medication to help diminish these symptoms, but one day they'll eventually have to fix it surgically. The worst part about all of this though, as someone who loves food, is that sometimes my stomach is so strangely divided that I can simultaneously feel totally full after two bites AND yet be starving -- as I wait for food from my "top stomach" to fall into my "bottom stomach." 

That's not really what this blog is about though. Now that you're all sufficiently aware of what a Hiatal Hernia is, I can continue.

Usually when my stomach does move, it's maybe once during a 24 hour time period and then it chills out. For some reason last night it kept sliding up and down constantly. I wasn't even doing anything strenuous. I was merely laying in bed trying to sleep. It moved so much that it actually started producing sounds like a bad DJ. Sounds that Aaron could hear beside me. I guess the best way to describe them would be... someone quietly rubbing an under-inflated balloon. Or maybe a drunken underwater cricket.

Repeat this sequence forever.

Up until that point it was just misery because, as I said, when my stomach decides to change position inside of my body -- that hurts. However once it started squeaking at me, I really couldn't help but find it kind of funny. Much to my dismay this went on practically all night, alternating between ow and giggling, so I didn't get much sleep. I'm pretty sure it continued even after I finally managed to doze off. It went on for so long that my stomach is sore today. Which is just... all kinds of special.

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