Pets Are Messier Than Children

Took a little nap on the couch, which is impressive when you are being climbed all over by a small human with pointy elbows and knees. Maybe 20 minutes tops.

Woke up to find a cat disaster spanning 3 rooms. In which Intruder "the fluffy one" Willmington pooped, got it stuck in her butt fur, drug her ass ALL the way down the hallway, then finally got it off in the living room. So that is how I've spent my morning.

And all I could think about while on my hands and knees like Cinderella with a scrub brush was about how when I was pregnant everyone balked, "Oh, what are you gonna do about all the diapers? Babies are gross." Like, have you owned a pet?! Something else's bodily functions was already a part of my daily life years before having a kid.

I've cleaned up way more dog, cat, bird, hamster, turtle, and snake excrement than I have human. The contest isn't even close.