Your Mom

Today we are spending the day with Paris Hilton's mom. Yes. Indeed. You read that right. Paris Hilton's mother. I'm not sure exactly what to make of that. What would you make of that?

High levels of lol predicted.

Safe Landing

Here's to flying!

The plane was super super tiny and the flight was super super bumpy, but I've arrived no worse for where. I took lots of pictures, even snuck a few after they had firmly instructed all electronic devices to be powered down. They actually used that phrasing. For a second I thought it was 1991 again.

I was in charge of the laptops, which must have looked quite silly. Me, walking (sauntering perhaps???) through the airport with not one but two laptops strapped across me. Like some sort of computer junkie or something. Oh wait...

I'm safely in Chicago now, live via satellite internets. I have extremely limited connectivity because I am not close enough to space. So bear with me. When I'm not super busy in real life I'll be combating low signal strength because rich people like to life in huge mansions in the middle of forests.

WTB rocket ship. It worked for Major Tom right? Right...?

I feel like I am in an extremely posh episode of Dawson's Creek. If anyone remembers that stereotypical teen drama. If I walk outside there is wilderness and a lake. If I want to go the neighbor's house the fastest route would be taking the boat to their dock. Kind of neat, except all the chandeliers leave me feeling constantly under dressed.

I am having fun though, and being productive, outside of right now, so all is well in Inaritopia. Which I suppose is a given otherwise it'd be called Inaridistopia?

Like OMG

I'm slowly running out of time online! In less than an hour I will be at the airport causing a ruckus with security, no doubt. Then it's milling about with a lack of anything to do for two hours while I wait to board. Then I fly through the sky to Chicago! After a few days there I drive, across the ground if we're counting, to Detroit! Two, two big cities in this little journey. I'm thinking large.

I decided to wear a skirt today. A skirt. Yes. Absurd. I know. Also, a hat.

You better be looking at the coffee pot.

Also, a hat!

So...
To those of you in Illinois: I'll see you soon.
To those of you in Michigan: I'll see you later.
To those of you anyplace else: It'll be a while.
To the Internets: Distance, heart, fonder, etc.

Yellow & Black Trefoil

Today's test took a total of three hours and was relatively painless. Played out pretty much exactly as the video included in the last entry, except I was in a room lined with lead and I couldn't take in my purse because they thought I may smuggle radioactive egg out. I have no idea why I would do that, let alone anyone else. Like I'd make a dirty bomb out of nuclear egg or something? The deadliest midnight prank?

That bottom line indeed reads: will be emitting radiation!

The bit that worries me, considering I have a flight in less than a week and they always do all but strip search me under normal circumstances is "Airport alarms may be triggered for up to 12 weeks." Oh good, this time I'll lock down the airport and give them a reason to detain me...

Breakfast Time!

Going to the doctor for eggs and toast. See you all in a while!

Relevant.

Belly Full o' Almonds

Home at last. It felt like today's running around was never going to end.

There was a minor crisis this morning when I came to the realization that my social security card is in Florida. You need those to get IDs renewed these days. I didn't panic though, I know things always work out in the end somehow and thus couldn't help but giggle at the situation, much to everyone else's annoyance.

Which, low and behold, things worked out. I can now board the plane next weekend ID in hand.

Shopping was shopping. I got tons of food, spent tons of money. Nothing new there. I forgot to mention in the other blog that I had a hair appointment this afternoon at the spa. So, I had a hair appointment this afternoon at the spa. It was fun. Being pampered is always nice.

I get bored easily. New hair color is new.

Then it was off for my blood work. Turns out one of the tests had been inappropriately performed, so basically this was a do-over. The vial was supposed to have been frozen and it wasn't. All of the actual nurse people had already left so the rotund, nervous lab tech came and did it. Horribly. He kept clamoring around for things and losing things and when he stuck me with the needle he did so like you see on TV medical shows. Like House or E.R. -- where they literally stab you with it for no reason.

Ow.

By then I was super light headed (had to fast for the blood test, also have to fast tomorrow, thats like barely any food all weekend) so I took my mother out for Chinese food. Sooooo much Chinese food.

Still no sleep. Who sleeps at 6pm on a Saturday?

Deprivation

I have to be up for a day's worth of activities by 8am tomorrow, it's 1am and I'm not tired at all. I guess I'll just be pulling another 24 hours of sleeplessness. I have to go get my ID renewed tomorrow so that I can get on the plane next weekend. I wonder if they'll pull me aside to test for explosives residue this time? They always do.

Then it's off to shop. I don't like shopping. It's another one of those female traits I never picked up on. I do like new things and food though, so it's a necessary evil.

After that I go to give all the rest of my blood to doctors. They decided that the vials I gave earlier in the week weren't enough and need more. My arm hasn't even healed yet. I won't need a diagnosis soon, the lack of blood will do me in.

I received a letter from the doctor today. To prepare for my Nom test Monday, I get cut off of all food Sunday. So I'll be lacking sleep, food, and blood. That sounds like a marvelous combination of fun, doesn't it?

I also learned that the correct medical term for the Scope test is esophagogastroduodenoscopy. Say that 5 times fast.