Who would have thought the guy who always drove his motorcycle home from gatherings inebriated without incident like some sort of daredevil would die driving to work completely sober? He would have chuckled at that, I believe. He would have appreciated the irony, surely. Whenever I see assless chaps, I will remind everyone of a guy we all called Big Skeet.
Rest in peace my dude.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Role Reversal
Today I accompany my grandfather to his Electrocardiogram, like he accompanied me to my Esohagogastroduodenoscopy. Only totally different. Because they're completely unrelated tests. They probably won't permit me in the room with him until they're through, then again they didn't permit him in the room with me until I was through. To be honest that's probably a mighty fine idea because I'd be making him laugh and messing up their tests without a doubt. It's what I do.
Instead I'll loom about in the waiting room with the 600 galon salt water aquarium and read my book. I'm more than halfway done with it thanks to this lake and a lack of internet. The fishes will probably float right above my chair thinking I'm there to feed them. I seem to have that effect on fish.
Hopefully all is well in Papa's Heartsville. I would imagine so. He is in better shape than most people half his age. He's in better shape than I am, albeit that isn't difficult. It would be mind boggling if he had some occult condition lying in wait. Heck. Bullets, knives, and terrible car crashes didn't scathe him. He's like a Native Chuck Norris. No lie.
Tonight we watch The Office. I think it's the new one. Which means we finally get absolution for that cliff hanger. Undoubtedly bound to be hilarious. Last night we watched a Honeymooners marathon. That's great stuff too. My grandfather used to watch it every Saturday when they were new with my grandmother, but never got to see all of them after she died. Recently he bought them all on DVD but had no one to watch them with. So I volunteered.
Yesterday we got lost in Wisconsin going shopping. I apparently needed new shoes and a watch. Everything they say about Wisconsin is true, the cheese talk is no exaggeration. About every mile or so we found a cheese emporium claiming to be larger and more full of cheese than the last. It was a little absurd. Who eats that much cheese to keep all of these places in business? Talk about over saturation of a local market.
After some searching and a call to my uncle we managed to find our way. I wound up with a pair of Nike Airs and a watch by Adidas. I like to think they are in a constant state of silent accessory conflict.
I wasn't going to update until tomorrow, because as of tomorrow I'll be at the halfway point of my visit. Meaning I go back to Ohio next Friday. But my grandfather and I got all up and ready to go to his doctor only to realize we were an hour ahead of schedule. Early, imagine that. So we were both left with forty-five minutes of nothing to do. Which brings me to now, here.
Instead I'll loom about in the waiting room with the 600 galon salt water aquarium and read my book. I'm more than halfway done with it thanks to this lake and a lack of internet. The fishes will probably float right above my chair thinking I'm there to feed them. I seem to have that effect on fish.
Hopefully all is well in Papa's Heartsville. I would imagine so. He is in better shape than most people half his age. He's in better shape than I am, albeit that isn't difficult. It would be mind boggling if he had some occult condition lying in wait. Heck. Bullets, knives, and terrible car crashes didn't scathe him. He's like a Native Chuck Norris. No lie.
Tonight we watch The Office. I think it's the new one. Which means we finally get absolution for that cliff hanger. Undoubtedly bound to be hilarious. Last night we watched a Honeymooners marathon. That's great stuff too. My grandfather used to watch it every Saturday when they were new with my grandmother, but never got to see all of them after she died. Recently he bought them all on DVD but had no one to watch them with. So I volunteered.
Yesterday we got lost in Wisconsin going shopping. I apparently needed new shoes and a watch. Everything they say about Wisconsin is true, the cheese talk is no exaggeration. About every mile or so we found a cheese emporium claiming to be larger and more full of cheese than the last. It was a little absurd. Who eats that much cheese to keep all of these places in business? Talk about over saturation of a local market.
After some searching and a call to my uncle we managed to find our way. I wound up with a pair of Nike Airs and a watch by Adidas. I like to think they are in a constant state of silent accessory conflict.
I wasn't going to update until tomorrow, because as of tomorrow I'll be at the halfway point of my visit. Meaning I go back to Ohio next Friday. But my grandfather and I got all up and ready to go to his doctor only to realize we were an hour ahead of schedule. Early, imagine that. So we were both left with forty-five minutes of nothing to do. Which brings me to now, here.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Taste The Rain
Yesterday we had a little get together: my mom, grandfather, nephews, older brother and Brook. It was a lovely day. Fun times. After dinner Jaiden wanted to go out into the yard with me. Then he wanted to blow bubbles. Once I got them out everyone wanted to blow bubbles, so we had a bubble blowing extravaganza.
I taught my nephews a thing or two about blowing bubbles that day. Actually, I taught my grandpa a thing or two about blowing bubbles as well, and my mother. I became a bubble blowing celebrity for blowing super huge bubbles consistently.
Look how gosh damned proud I am of that thing. You may've built an orphanage with your bare hands in some 3rd world country, but look at the size of that bubble! Look how amazed my grandfather is by its sheer awesomeness. Can you blame either of us? It's pretty fraking impressive.
When Jaiden ran out of bubbles little Bill poured some of his into Jaiden's container. Of course with all the grace of a four year old he also poured them all over the porch. Despite that it was really cute. Jaiden says, "Thank you, Bill." and little Bill says, "You're welcome!" Did I mention cute?
I'm almost finished packing. I'll be headed back to Illinois at around 8am today for another week or so. I think I'll only take a couple of books with me this time. Lighten my luggage a little. I will still bring two weeks worth of clothes, just in case I have to stay a full two additional weeks. And my laptop of course. Though internet there is severely lacking, I can't imagine not bothering to try.
Also, this time I won't forget pants. Those are important.
Length really depends on how treatment goes. It's not a vacation, afterall. No matter how much fun I allude to having. I've already got two weeks worth of adjustments under my belt, so I may only need a week's worth on top of that. Unless things aren't as they should be, again, in which case it'll be a full two weeks on top of the previous two weeks. For a total of four weeks. i r gudd @ math.
I'm very tired today. It's sunny but looks like it may rain a little. Hopefully I can manage to sleep in the car along the way. It's a billion hour drive, you'd think sleeping through Indiana at least would be easy. Because it's several hours of absolutely nothing. Yet I always remain awake and bored the whole way. I don't know who I'm kidding. I'll more than likely remain awake this time too.
I am supposed to finish killing monsters tonight at 8pm, or rather 7pm where I'll be. I say that here in hopes I won't forget. Monday is not a typical monster-slayin' day, you see. Hopefully I can find a signal reliable enough go. I do so enjoy killing ferocious monsters. Yes, for the less astute, I'm talking about video games again.
And now that I have sufficiently pushed that envelope as far as it'll go. I'm off. To Illinois with me!
Edit: I arrived safely. Once again. As opposed to dangerously.
I taught my nephews a thing or two about blowing bubbles that day. Actually, I taught my grandpa a thing or two about blowing bubbles as well, and my mother. I became a bubble blowing celebrity for blowing super huge bubbles consistently.
 |
| Spectacular! |
When Jaiden ran out of bubbles little Bill poured some of his into Jaiden's container. Of course with all the grace of a four year old he also poured them all over the porch. Despite that it was really cute. Jaiden says, "Thank you, Bill." and little Bill says, "You're welcome!" Did I mention cute?
I'm almost finished packing. I'll be headed back to Illinois at around 8am today for another week or so. I think I'll only take a couple of books with me this time. Lighten my luggage a little. I will still bring two weeks worth of clothes, just in case I have to stay a full two additional weeks. And my laptop of course. Though internet there is severely lacking, I can't imagine not bothering to try.
Also, this time I won't forget pants. Those are important.
Length really depends on how treatment goes. It's not a vacation, afterall. No matter how much fun I allude to having. I've already got two weeks worth of adjustments under my belt, so I may only need a week's worth on top of that. Unless things aren't as they should be, again, in which case it'll be a full two weeks on top of the previous two weeks. For a total of four weeks. i r gudd @ math.
I'm very tired today. It's sunny but looks like it may rain a little. Hopefully I can manage to sleep in the car along the way. It's a billion hour drive, you'd think sleeping through Indiana at least would be easy. Because it's several hours of absolutely nothing. Yet I always remain awake and bored the whole way. I don't know who I'm kidding. I'll more than likely remain awake this time too.
I am supposed to finish killing monsters tonight at 8pm, or rather 7pm where I'll be. I say that here in hopes I won't forget. Monday is not a typical monster-slayin' day, you see. Hopefully I can find a signal reliable enough go. I do so enjoy killing ferocious monsters. Yes, for the less astute, I'm talking about video games again.
And now that I have sufficiently pushed that envelope as far as it'll go. I'm off. To Illinois with me!
Edit: I arrived safely. Once again. As opposed to dangerously.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Lord of The Soup
I'm back and awake now. Kind of. Many biopsies were taken and some bad things revealed but we won't know more until the results of the biopsies are back in a week or so. Well, we know the bad things but they could be worse things. I may be in Illinois by then. Actually I know I'll be in Illinois by then. If treatment isn't advised to wait I'll have to undergo it there. I won't worry you until anything is known for certain.
They were careful with me though. Even gave me a, "Hey don't kill the patient." bracelet. Which I cannot get off of myself. Someone halp.
My doctor was a comical rotund man. Able to easily tell how nervous I was, he joked with me about the name of the company who makes the numbing spray for the throat. Beuttlich. He kept calling them Buttlick. Says it used to say, "Great tasting!" on the canister but they had to take it off because it tastes so awful. It was pretty terrible. After that I remember the nurse saying she was going to administer the drug into my IV, then nothing.
Let me say something just now. Thank goodness for spell check.
I'm so doped right now. I feel like I am on a boat, but I am not on a boat. I don't even have my flippy floppies. It's so quiet today and all I can eat is soup. I have mushroom soup because I'm so very hungry. I need water though because I'm thirsty. I think I had some. You know what's kind of sad? When Gandalf realizes Saruman is really and truly a bad guy now. He's like: D:
They were careful with me though. Even gave me a, "Hey don't kill the patient." bracelet. Which I cannot get off of myself. Someone halp.
 |
| Seriously, help me. |
Let me say something just now. Thank goodness for spell check.
I'm so doped right now. I feel like I am on a boat, but I am not on a boat. I don't even have my flippy floppies. It's so quiet today and all I can eat is soup. I have mushroom soup because I'm so very hungry. I need water though because I'm thirsty. I think I had some. You know what's kind of sad? When Gandalf realizes Saruman is really and truly a bad guy now. He's like: D:
The Day
The sun has made it's appearance, it's overcast, likely to rain. Just how I like it. I've removed all of my jewelry. Today is the day. Esohagogastroduodenoscopy: The scope test. I won't lie, it's sat like a shadow on the horizon of fun for the last few weeks. I'll be happy to see it done and over with.
I'm not concerned with the procedure. Pain before, after, or during -- I deal rather well with that sort of thing. My concern is the anesthesia. I'm hyper sensitive to nearly all forms of it and have had alerting reactions in the past. Turning 2 hour procedures into 4 hours. 6 hour procedures into 12 hours. And so on and so forth.
At least all of that is known by now. It won't be as shocking as the first time it happened. Ideally the doctors will be prepared for just such a thing. When it comes to big scary tests or surgeries, it's strangely never the task at hand that I get nervous about. It's ironically the drugs given to make the deal less worrisome that make me worry.
If you consider the quiet reservation of a Terminator actual worry.
I am so hungry. So thirsty. Mostly starving though. I don't know when I'll be awake or when I'll be home if they decide to keep me, but I do know my first conscious request is going to be food. Whatever it is I'm brought, its likely to be the tastiest thing ever. True hunger makes everything good.
My chariot awaits! I'll see you all later. I'm apt to be pretty loopy for a while. Just as a heads up.
I'm not concerned with the procedure. Pain before, after, or during -- I deal rather well with that sort of thing. My concern is the anesthesia. I'm hyper sensitive to nearly all forms of it and have had alerting reactions in the past. Turning 2 hour procedures into 4 hours. 6 hour procedures into 12 hours. And so on and so forth.
At least all of that is known by now. It won't be as shocking as the first time it happened. Ideally the doctors will be prepared for just such a thing. When it comes to big scary tests or surgeries, it's strangely never the task at hand that I get nervous about. It's ironically the drugs given to make the deal less worrisome that make me worry.
If you consider the quiet reservation of a Terminator actual worry.
I am so hungry. So thirsty. Mostly starving though. I don't know when I'll be awake or when I'll be home if they decide to keep me, but I do know my first conscious request is going to be food. Whatever it is I'm brought, its likely to be the tastiest thing ever. True hunger makes everything good.
My chariot awaits! I'll see you all later. I'm apt to be pretty loopy for a while. Just as a heads up.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Like Sugar & Spice
"I'm sure you must be weary, dear, with soaring up so high;
Will you rest upon my little bed?" said the Spider to the Fly.
"There are pretty curtains drawn around, the sheets are fine and thin;
And if you like to rest awhile, I'll snugly tuck you in!"
"Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "for I've often heard it said
They never, never wake again, who sleep upon your bed!"
I'm in Ohio again now. Safe and sound in Inaritown. Although there was a flash flood on the highway and we almost fishtailed into doom. Avoided that by the skin of our teeth, yes sir. Illinois was uneventful. Indiana was painfully uneventful. The moment we passed over the Ohio border a hell storm came on us. In an abandon all hope ye who enter here sort of way!
Luckily I carry extra hope.
Now I sit, cozily, on stable internet having many glasses of celebratory whiskey. My insides aren't liquefied, you see. That is something worth celebrating. Actually the majority of you are like to have not gotten that reference, so never-you-mind! Who needs a reason for celebration anyway? Pants off dance off, bitches.
I go back in like a week for an additional week or two, so I have to make good on my time here. No art. No reading. Just internet before it's suckallite again. Although hospitalization for this upcoming test may take me away for a day or more. We'll see. Last time they sedated me my heart decided not to beat, so they kept me extra days. Hopefully not this time, since they are well aware now of the sensitivity to crap injected into my veins and thus shouldn't use so much crap.
Anyhow, less typing, more celebrating!
Will you rest upon my little bed?" said the Spider to the Fly.
"There are pretty curtains drawn around, the sheets are fine and thin;
And if you like to rest awhile, I'll snugly tuck you in!"
"Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "for I've often heard it said
They never, never wake again, who sleep upon your bed!"
I'm in Ohio again now. Safe and sound in Inaritown. Although there was a flash flood on the highway and we almost fishtailed into doom. Avoided that by the skin of our teeth, yes sir. Illinois was uneventful. Indiana was painfully uneventful. The moment we passed over the Ohio border a hell storm came on us. In an abandon all hope ye who enter here sort of way!
Luckily I carry extra hope.
Now I sit, cozily, on stable internet having many glasses of celebratory whiskey. My insides aren't liquefied, you see. That is something worth celebrating. Actually the majority of you are like to have not gotten that reference, so never-you-mind! Who needs a reason for celebration anyway? Pants off dance off, bitches.
I go back in like a week for an additional week or two, so I have to make good on my time here. No art. No reading. Just internet before it's suckallite again. Although hospitalization for this upcoming test may take me away for a day or more. We'll see. Last time they sedated me my heart decided not to beat, so they kept me extra days. Hopefully not this time, since they are well aware now of the sensitivity to crap injected into my veins and thus shouldn't use so much crap.
Anyhow, less typing, more celebrating!
The Return to Internets
I just finished packing. Last minute, I know. I got myself preoccupied last night (read: fell asleep) though I did complete the brunt of it then. All that's left is to eat some breakfast and get into the car for eight hours. Then I'll be in Ohio on slightly more reliable internet. Once I best Indiana again.
I exaggerate. The internet in Ohio is leaps and bounds better than the internet in space. Ironically I fell asleep last night watching Nova, Spacespies. Despite how you read that it was not a special about Space Pies but espionage. I made the same mistake.
It won't be long before someone comes to fetch me, so I'll have to make this short. I have been sitting in front of this computer for less than three minutes but if they find me here, it'll be the computer's fault. It won't be, "You've spent the last thirty minutes packing because you fell asleep last night." It'll be, "You're going to be late because you're online!"
I have impeccable timing, unless drunk or unconscious, so if I'm late it's more than likely going to be something else's fault. Like traffic, or the apocalypse. But I digress (I do that a lot to prevent tangents).
Sometimes people wonder why I always always take a minute to write before I travel anyplace far. First of all, why the hell not? Second of all, to make sure I said something before venturing out into world land. Should anything happen to me. Just in case, you understand. I don't want the very last thing anyone's heard from me to be a rant about potatoes or something. So...
To those of you in Illinois: It's been fun!
To those of you in Ohio: See you soon!
To those of you in Florida: It'll still be a while!
To the Internets: obebe
I exaggerate. The internet in Ohio is leaps and bounds better than the internet in space. Ironically I fell asleep last night watching Nova, Spacespies. Despite how you read that it was not a special about Space Pies but espionage. I made the same mistake.
It won't be long before someone comes to fetch me, so I'll have to make this short. I have been sitting in front of this computer for less than three minutes but if they find me here, it'll be the computer's fault. It won't be, "You've spent the last thirty minutes packing because you fell asleep last night." It'll be, "You're going to be late because you're online!"
I have impeccable timing, unless drunk or unconscious, so if I'm late it's more than likely going to be something else's fault. Like traffic, or the apocalypse. But I digress (I do that a lot to prevent tangents).
Sometimes people wonder why I always always take a minute to write before I travel anyplace far. First of all, why the hell not? Second of all, to make sure I said something before venturing out into world land. Should anything happen to me. Just in case, you understand. I don't want the very last thing anyone's heard from me to be a rant about potatoes or something. So...
To those of you in Illinois: It's been fun!
To those of you in Ohio: See you soon!
To those of you in Florida: It'll still be a while!
To the Internets: obebe
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